Advice and Help Please - Comments

@ Join the Masquerade
I just cause thing?

@ JessieWelling
Kinda awkward to cause I haven't done anything in that department and I don't want all my female characters to be virgins

I'd really like to see a sex scene where one of the members isn't fulfilled and it's not perfect. I need to write such a one myself for my own sanity I think.

I agree with @ Zacky Vengeance; !
In my case, researching helped a lot. Fanfictions, books, watching videos... putting yourself on the character's POV also helps! What would you feel in said situation? How would you react? How would you want the other person to react?
Something that always helped me was getting into the character's mind, have you tried that?

@ Zacky Vengeance;
Thanks a ton!

@ weirdogirl1236
Yes, that's exactly the right thing you want to do when writing BDSM. The trap is, and a lot of people do it on here so don't get caught, is to cross the line between an actual BDSM relationship, and an abusive one. In that kind of relationship, there has to be huge amounts of trust between the Dom and the Sub, and that needs to be clear when you're writing it. It's not rape, it's sex. So yes, the S and M is still involved, but include things like the Dom asking the Sub if he/she's OK, using proper prep for them, establishing a safe word (that isn't always used in real life relationships, but you can do it either way). It's about caring, rather than just rough sex, so tread carefully.

I would say build up as well- don't just have the Dom immediately whipping their Sub at the first go- build up. Like I said- realism is the key. Research will always be your friend too- talk to people who are in BDSM relationships, look around on the internet for info. That should help you!

@ Zacky Vengeance;
Thanks for the advice! I've never really gone into sensory detail when it comes to it. The only stuff I've watched is on either on HBO or Max channels and it's always the same rough stuff which I don't really like.

I have yet to write any slash sex scenes so I'm kinda lost there too. As for BDSM I like when the dominant has concern for the submissive. So how would you suggest to balance between concern for the submissive but it still being S and M?

Anyway thank you I'll start trying to write including the senses.

Sex scenes need to be realistic- don't rush them. It's not over in ten seconds. Honestly- reading other people's work and even watching (trust me on this one) will help you get to grips with it. I always go through stages- you've got the foreplay, the actual frick frack, and then the aftermath- and you can drag those out for as long as you need to. Detail definitely helps, if you can get in there. Think of the senses- what does the other person feel like, smell like, what kind of feelings do they get when they're kissed or touched? Paint a picture for the reader- even if it takes you a few hundred words.

Depending on whether you're writing slash or not- don't go to extremes. Often BDSM and things like that can get out of hand and be really unrealistic if you throw your characters in at the deep end. So be real!

Sex scenes will get easier- it's all about trial and error.

@ charity_hope

@ Daydreamingdirnt
I try too even then I'm still not 100% happy with it. Thanks!

You're welcome.

@ charity_hope
Thanks!

You just write whatever comes to your mind first. And then re-read the scene and add anything you think lacks in the first draft. Do this a few times until you're satisfied with the scene.

Good luck! ^_^

Maybe add more detail?