I've been in the same situation with my boyfriend of nearly 3 years, for the first two years we broke up and got back together every few months, given it was him that kept breaking up then crawling back to me, this time last year I told him I'd had enough, that if he broke up with me one more time I was done for good and that he can't come crawling back when he changes his mind. A year later we haven't broken up once.
My boyfriend also use to talk shit about me behind my back as well, but we both learnt fast that we can't hide things from each other, we always end up finding out anyway. I guess my point is that our boyfriend's sounds really similar, even the fact that I love his family and his family are half the reason I've stuck through all the shit I've had to deal with from him.
Ultimately it sounds like you guys need a serious talk, if he's serious about you then he'll listen and he'll take into consideration of what you have to say. It's only really hard dealing with people who are meant to care about you but talk crap behind your back, when I found out my boyfriend did that I got mad, but I did have someone point out that because my boyfriend's passive about everything he'll agree and side with everyone, which does in a way, make him two faced.
Anyway, I'm sorry for my essay answer, my point is: Try having a serious talk, from there gauge whether he even cares enough to listen and consider what you're saying, either way if you choose to continue with the relationship be prepared to work hard for it, remember that every single relationship has it's ups and downs, if you love him then do your best but also remember that you need to be happy as well, so don't wear yourself out trying to hard.
My boyfriend also use to talk shit about me behind my back as well, but we both learnt fast that we can't hide things from each other, we always end up finding out anyway. I guess my point is that our boyfriend's sounds really similar, even the fact that I love his family and his family are half the reason I've stuck through all the shit I've had to deal with from him.
Ultimately it sounds like you guys need a serious talk, if he's serious about you then he'll listen and he'll take into consideration of what you have to say. It's only really hard dealing with people who are meant to care about you but talk crap behind your back, when I found out my boyfriend did that I got mad, but I did have someone point out that because my boyfriend's passive about everything he'll agree and side with everyone, which does in a way, make him two faced.
Anyway, I'm sorry for my essay answer, my point is: Try having a serious talk, from there gauge whether he even cares enough to listen and consider what you're saying, either way if you choose to continue with the relationship be prepared to work hard for it, remember that every single relationship has it's ups and downs, if you love him then do your best but also remember that you need to be happy as well, so don't wear yourself out trying to hard.
I hope this helped!