Unwanted or Wanted Criticism. - Comments

  • hiboux

    hiboux (100)

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    If you don't mind, I'd love to have feedback on the start of this story. I'm trying to revive it (and make it better) and all criticism would be welcome.
    October 28th, 2014 at 07:02pm
  • Lady Nikki Nightmare

    Lady Nikki Nightmare (215)

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    There's this story, linked in my signature, called Death Becomes You. :) It's my baby, and I will suck it up if you absolutely hate it.
    October 28th, 2014 at 02:54am
  • little sparrow.

    little sparrow. (100)

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    I would love your feedback on this story if you don't mind Cute
    October 27th, 2014 at 11:20pm
  • MsMairaV

    MsMairaV (960)

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    Please read The Tragic Life of Myriella Nelson if you don't mind. The link is in my signature.
    October 27th, 2014 at 10:53pm
  • eve's elixir.

    eve's elixir. (250)

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    Oh, that would make more sense. I understand how awkward it is, but that was the best-flowing line I could (and still can) think of to get my point across and differentiate between the 16 / 17 year olds and 20+ year olds.
    It's okay, by drawing attention to it I may be able to tweak my phrasing in future to try and be less awkward.
    (I'll leave it for the piece, as I don't want to change the flow, and nor do I have the time currently, but I will definitely keep it in mind!)
    October 27th, 2014 at 07:22pm
  • Linked

    Linked (100)

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    Oh, my bad. I took the phrasing as an error. "Same age friends" is a little awkward, but it doesn’t really hurt your story. Sorry for the mistake! I’ll edit the review.
    October 27th, 2014 at 12:59pm
  • eve's elixir.

    eve's elixir. (250)

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    Thanks for the comment, and it is helpful, although how did I err in the first paragraph with "same"?
    October 27th, 2014 at 06:11am
  • Linked

    Linked (100)

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    @ Lex Luthor

    @ sheepcat;
    Sorry guys, I haven't been on Mibba in a few days. I'll review your stories in a few hours.
    October 26th, 2014 at 12:51pm
  • eve's elixir.

    eve's elixir. (250)

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    I have a one shot that could do with some picking. Cherry.
    Thank you so much if you do! Arms
    October 26th, 2014 at 02:41am
  • Michael Westen

    Michael Westen (450)

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    If you could get the time to pick apart From Durmstrang to Hogwarts[ I'd appreciate it :)
    October 25th, 2014 at 06:33am
  • Angel Dust

    Angel Dust (885)

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    NaNoWriMo 2017
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    How about my story, Pyromancer? :)
    October 25th, 2014 at 03:13am
  • Aris.

    Aris. (375)

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    uh, I posted Coma White for a challenge, so feedback on that would be a great, especially if you want to kick it around a little aha.
    October 24th, 2014 at 08:54pm
  • pocahontas.

    pocahontas. (565)

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    Criticism is always great! I'll let you choose~ The prologue chapters of both of these, however, are really the old summaries. I had an OCD fit, and well, now I have - I think - pretty summaries!

    Dreamcatcher is a Jacob Black fiction written for the October MM challenge. Success is the first chapter.

    All I Need is a Damon Salvatore fiction that I'm reworking and have been rewriting. Change is the first chapter.

    All I Need is the one I'm really worried about, but I'd rather let you choose since you might prefer one over the other - or neither at all, in which case I have my NaNo summary, which links to an important poem, and prologue. All less than 500 words I'm sure. Thanks in advance!
    October 24th, 2014 at 07:03pm
  • Linked

    Linked (100)

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    Going to bed. Anyone who posts after this comment, I'll check out your stuff in the morning
    October 24th, 2014 at 03:50pm
  • Subject A-5

    Subject A-5 (250)

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    Hey, you can't grow as a writer if you don't take in every piece of advice :)
    Behind every criticism is a piece of advice for you to learn from and grow with.
    October 24th, 2014 at 02:02pm
  • Linked

    Linked (100)

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    @ Proud Saiyan Warrior
    Thanks for being a good sport!
    October 24th, 2014 at 02:00pm
  • Subject A-5

    Subject A-5 (250)

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    Thank you so much for your honesty! :D
    October 24th, 2014 at 01:58pm
  • Subject A-5

    Subject A-5 (250)

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    If you're up to kick me in the stomach over a DBZ fanfic oneshot, you're more than welcome to.
    Unseen.

    I'm ready to hear about how shit I am, Haha.

    ugh, daytime tv. I send you all my willpower, haha.
    October 24th, 2014 at 01:37pm