You Need to Help Yourself. - Comments

@ Daryl Dixon;

I take 175mg a day of Lamictal for my depression/moods and 600mg of Gabapentin for my anxiety.

I don't really have an issue with going to a hospital because it'd be a hell of a lot better than here right about now. My main issue with it is the way that my stepmother had worded the entire ordeal and the fact that the closest one to here is about an hour and half drive away (this is why I fucking hate living in southwest Virginia).

Along with my psych. the place I go to, Piedmont, has a weird set up. Like I said that I had to be cycled into everything, I had to be cycled to get my psychiatrist. My father and I have talked about getting him changed and they've told me that I couldn't change because that's the way Piedmont works. If I got out of Piedmont (which is about as hard as breaking out of jail) given the fact I live 30 minutes away from town, I'd have to relocate to another town 30 minutes away to the other Piedmont (the one where my lovely batshit crazy bio. mother goes to). My only other option is trying the city an hour away, I'd probably get something good there though because of the fact that most of my friends relocated there for their mental help needs.

Oh well, life moves on; since I didn't see my therapist yesterday, I have two appointments at Piedmont Monday. Not looking forward to seeing the therapist and the psychiatrist in the same day.

Also I forgot to mention the most the hospital will keep you is 7-10 days. I got out 5 days in December.

I'm so sorry this shit is happening but here's my thoughts on it.

No offense, but your mother sounds like my mother and my mother is not really helpful

I'm going through the same shit except I have Schizophrenic like Bipolar disorder and Agoraphobia. I have the mood swings, the depression the anxiety, the whole shitty package.

November 2012 to March 2013 I was on drugs; Pain killers mostly, I stopped cold turkey and it has fucked up my life completely, I mean up shit creek with out a single paddle. Panic attacks 3-4 times a day, suicidal thoughts etc, I slept 1-2 hours every night, even months after I got clean I was still messed up, but when all this shit started happening I went to my physician because I thought I was dying, I never had panic attacks before that and he called my local mental health people I will call HF and a lady came down and I talked to her, I told her everything that was going on and I was sent to a "Mental hospital/Rehabilitation center" (when a therapist or psychiatrist are talking about a mental hospital they are talking really about a crisis center where people go when they are having a life crisis: Suicidal thoughts or actions, Drugs, etc. It's not what your mother thinks, it's not where you walk in and you immediately see people acting wild and crazy, rocking back and forth, whispering that they see dead people. No. There are levels.

Adolescents (Ages 4-17). Adults 18 and up, Intensive care (Where the people with conditions like "hardcore" as the patients put it Schizophrenics and violent patients go, then senior, and last Military.) You would go to adolescents where kids who are suffering from Suicidal thoughts, Suicide attempts, behavioral problems etc.

It's not that bad I made friends there that I still have to day, and every 4-6 months I end up there like clock work because I can't sleep, or are feeling suicidal or homicidal, or if I'm hearing things that aren't there.

It's not a bad place as people like to make you think.

They put me on medication and because the medication is too high, my vision would be fluffy and I would be dizzy all the time, I'm guessing yours is to high too. Can I ask what you are taking? I take Risperidone, I was on 4 mg and I had the worst side effects ever because it was so high, I take 1 mg now and it's almost perfect now besides the muscle spasms and I always have anxiety all the damn time, like I can't even say a word to someone with out my mind telling me I said something wrong, or it's the way I look, etc (I barley go out anymore. Public is not my thing) I'm getting off track.

HF didn't work out because the lady was a bitch and tried to get me arrested but that's a whole different story for another time.

They tried to put me on Lithium but my mom who is a nurse said hell no. She told me that it's a mineral and they are supposed to do blood test every two weeks or something like that and if they don't check it, it could build up in your system and become toxic.

What I feel like you need to do is find a better psychiatrist and psychologist who knows what the fuck they are doing and are not just handing out meds for this that and the other reason, one that actually listens to you and have them recommend a medicine, and then you go home and look up the medication and see for yourself if you want that in your body.

Like mine right now I didn't look up until 6-7 months in and I found out it make dudes grow boobs, I swear to god google it.

If you have any questions I'm always open for them. I'm sorry if this didn't help my mind is all over the place.

You're quite welcome!

I certainly hope that they all see the error of their ways sooner rather than later, for your sake. I hope that they see that therapy and medicine IS you helping yourself and that the whole "do it yourself with your will" thing doesn't apply in these cases.

It's wonderful that you do the things that you do and can to help it along. I know everyone says these things and it sounds cliché, but I'm always willing to offer a listening ear. c:

@ markiplrrr
Thank you, darling. Your words really mean a lot to me. Hopefully I'll work through all of this eventually. Until then, I'll stick with it for now; even if I may not enjoy it.

I am so sorry that all of this is happening to and being put on you. You are so very strong for enduring it all.