Break-Ups (How Do I Deal With This?) - Comments

@ nearly witches.
Thanks

I've decided I'm gonna focus on some lifestyle changes I've been wanting to make and doing NaNo, because writing always takes my mind off things I seriously wish I could learn bass though!

I've definitely already had a couple times where I just sit there and mope, but I figure it's a lot better than just pretending everything is alright, because lord knows that never turns out well for me any other time

Thanks love!

Oh gosh. I suck ass at relationship advice so I probably can't offer anything worthwhile (I have literally been in 3 in my entire lifetime and none of them really ended particularly well) but if you ever need someone to just rant with or someone to listen to you, I'm definitely here.

Also, I agree with everybody about taking your mind off of stuff. Last time I broke up with someone, I ended up teaching myself how to play bass guitar. But seriously, I'd just take something and run with it, see how far you can get. I always find that, regardless of what I'm trying to take my mind off of, creating / maintaining a project or learning a new skill helps me to keep my mind off of stuff and I better myself in the process.

Also, one of my friends always said it was better to let yourself have that little period of crying and moping around, because if you bottle it all up then you're full of poisonous energy, so I wouldn't worry too much if you've got evenings where you just wanna cry it out. Sometimes, it's more healthy to have a cry and then cheer yourself up afterwards than it is to put on this mask all of the time and just pretend that you don't care.

This did turn more into advice than I thought it would, oops. I hope you feel more perky soon, and as I said, if you need someone to talk / rant to, I'm here.

@ aubree james.
Thanks lovely

I was feeling super overwhelmed with emotion when I was driving home from school earlier so I was just saying "You'll be fine" over and over, which helped. And you guys are the most amazing people ever so I'm glad I have all of you to talk to! <3

That playlist sounds awesome. And that's really good advice. Yesterday I was like "eh, I'll be good" and today I was like OKAY THIS IS NOT SO GOOD. The good thing about the long distance is that I never have to see him anywhere so I can just avoid things for a while

I'd like that! Happy Thanksgiving to you too

Oh no. I'm so proud of you for being able to be in a long distance relationship for so long, but also for realizing it's okay for it to be over

Last time I broke up with someone or was in a relationship was a bit over a year ago. To be honest, I got over it by signing "let it go" incredibly loudly. It felt weird because we usually spent so much time together, and I felt like I had nothing to do. The good thing is, you have lots of other things to do! You have school and a job and I think another job, AND ALL OF US! <3

I have an awesome break up playlist that I can send you that I put together for another friend, but I have a piece of advice that I really want you to remember. Relationships are like puppies. When they're dead you bury them. You guys have been together for a long time, and you're going to need quite a bit of time a part before things will feel okay again to hang out and not be tempted.

We'll skype soon! Happy Thanksgiving <3

@ OCTAVIA
Thank youuu

Last night I felt fine and was like "we could totally be friends right now!" but today everything hurts and I'm like "okay, a week without talking is gonna be shitty but it'll be good". We were so involved in each other's lives and have a lot of the same friends, so I'm glad we're still going to be friends too, but thinking about all the little things that are going to have to change is super hard.

I'm breaking out some good old T-Swift right now

GIRL I AM SO THERE FOR YOU IF YOU NEED

I went through a breakup about 2 months-ish ago?? And though the reasons that we broke up were completely different from yours, I can totally understand wanting to still talk and be friends even though right now it may be too hard to. I know this sounds cliche but time really does heal wounds and honestly no contact between me and my ex was the best thing for us (and then he got a new girlfriend, but that's a whole other story ) but the no contact thing really helped us to get back on good terms. Not that we're friends, but we're friendly and we prefer it that way.

AND YES
I AGREE WITH KANDI TAYLOR SWIFT IS THE FUCKING BEST TO LISTEN TO post breakup
though her songs have more to do with being snipy over breakups and bad breakups rather than having shitty long distance shit to deal with

@ mk ultra
Thanks I'll keep that in mind. I think things haven't really set in quite yet, and I'm kind of just brushing it off as not being his fault even though it pretty much is

You should definitely try to distract yourself as much as you can. Just focus on things that have nothing to do with romance or relationships or anything like that. Maybe let yourself have a day or two of crying and mourning, but don't let yourself get stuck in a rut. Also, don't stop yourself from being angry at him. I feel like that stops a lot of people from being able to get over their relationship. They don't want to allow themselves to be pissed at the person they used to love. But you need to let yourself feel whatever you feel. You're allowed to.

@ bellamy blake
I was kinda hoping I just wouldn't have to deal with it but apparently I don't get to escape this life experience

I'll definitely try and do that. Maybe I'll actually get some writing done, I always write best when I have a lot of emotions to deal with

Tay Swift is gonna be my homegirl for the next while

Thanks love

Aww, I'm so sorry to hear that you're going through this! Breakups are always the absolute worst.

My advice would be, in the beginning, to distract yourself as much as you can and find things to fill that dead time so that you aren't thinking about it as much/your thoughts are preoccupied with other things. It also helps to throw yourself into something you're passionate about. For my last two breakups, it was fitness, but really, anything that keeps you busy and makes you happy.

Taylor Swift is also ah-mazing. When my heart got shattered, I swear to you that I listened to Tay Swift for three months straight

You'll get through this. If it's meant to be, it'll be, and if you ever need someone to talk to, I'm here

Aww, I'm so sorry to hear that you're going through this! Breakups are always the absolute worst.

My advice would be, in the beginning, to distract yourself as much as you can and find things to fill that dead time so that you aren't thinking about it as much/your thoughts are preoccupied with other things. It also helps to throw yourself into something you're passionate about. For my last two breakups, it was fitness, but really, anything that keeps you busy and makes you happy.

Taylor Swift is also ah-mazing. When my heart got shattered, I swear to you that I listened to Tay Swift for three months straight

You'll get through this. If it's meant to be, it'll be, and if you ever need someone to talk to, I'm here

@ john murphy.
It's okay! I really believe that if we didn't have to deal with distance, our relationship would be better/would still be a thing. It was kind of just a mixture of shitty things that were against us.

That's true! My mom was like, no help (she was just like HE WASNT EVEN THAT GREAT ANYWAYS IT'LL BE FINE, which is so not what I wanted to hear like 10 minutes after we broke up ::facepalm), but I'm hoping I can rely on some friends. And all of my Mibba friends (including youuuu) are so fantastic so I think I'll be okay.

I wasn't really planning on doing NaNo this year because I didn't want it to take up all my time, but now that I don't have a guy to focus on it sounds like a really good idea. I'll have to start some planning

You were lots of help! Thanks darlin, I may take you up on that offer

Ughhhhh, Lizz, I'm so sorry (I also feel really stupid now because of my photo comment to you from my giveaway. Good timing, Raveena )

Honestly, I have 0 experience in the love field because I've never had a boyfriend in my life but from the experiences of my friends, it's really great to immerse yourself in friends and family because they'll pretty much be with you until the end. They (esp friends) will tell you things you need to hear. Also, your Mibba friends count (i.e I'll chop his dick off for you )

Also, writing can help. Like if you focus on a project (like NaNo, perhaps?) it could really help you get over him and focus more on yourself and the things that you like to do.

I'm really no good at this but I hope you feel better and if you wanna bash him, you can come straight to me. Just kidding, but I'll still try and be of any help