Yeah, fixing/organizing stuff gives me a sense of control over things. I guess you are right, it is a normal thing to forget. Also, you do make sense :)
I like fixing or arranging stuff when I'm taking a break from studying 'cause it makes me feel like I can fix my life too
I don't think it comes easily to most people how they started to write and why they did it. But I believe that it's okay to forget because that's a normal thing to do. You just have to revisit the past to remember it. And because you've grown up a little, your view on literature and writing had expanded too.