omg Ashleigh, I can't even imagine how that feels. I'm sorry You can talk to me whenever, I may not be the best at offering advice but I'd say I'm a pretty good listener. And regardless, happy birthday
My heart is so broken for you right now that I too am having a few tears. I am so sorry for your loss. Losing a parent is one of the hardest things in the world, I can't imagine if I had a tradition like this what I would have done. I do share a birthday usually with my stepdad though since we are 10 days apart, so when I try to imagine not having that maybe I can feel a tenth of a fraction of the pain you feel. The point? I am here if you need anything, and I can understand to an extent + willing to be open about it. I have had the same loss and not had the same loss all at the same time. And that's okay because every loss is different. The point? I just want you to know that you don't have to be alone - sometimes talking to someone who isn't a friend or family member is easier.
And you definitely deserve to be here. ::hugs: Sending you love.