I'm not feeling it.

Well, my friend has a crush on me.

And I don't know why, but that annoys me. He asked me out about four months ago, and I politely told him that I didn't want a boyfriend at the time. At the time.
I guess he thought I meant, "I'm not ready yet." Ugh. I still haven't completely told him that no, I don't want to be with him. He's my friend, and my friend only. He always seemed more like a girl friend to me, because he acts like one. Seriously he does.

He follows me around all the time. I don't mind, but sometimes it seems like he's too clingy. I guess I'm gonna have to talk with him about all of this soon, because I'm scared he might ask me out again. I don't want to hurt him or anything.

What bothers me the most, is how he can even like somebody like me. I'm really not that special. I don't even know what he sees in me. It just feels weird, because he has some girl friends that are a lot better (looking) than me.

Anyway, I just hate the awkwardness, and I hate how our friendship is not the same anymore.
We used to laugh and play around all the time. But ever since he asked me out, I've felt so uncomfortable around him. And I don't know why, but I also feel even more self conscious about how I look in front of him. WHY DOES THIS HAPPEN?

Just.. fuck my life.

I can't wait for school to end.