Honestly, why?
So I can go back to school and get laughed at by the popular girls, avoided to an extreme extent by the popular boys, ignored by my so called 'friends' and get looked at sympathetically by all the counselors who see me walk to and from lunch alone everyday? No. I do not want that anymore. I'm really freaking sick of it. Three years and I'm fed up with it.
Every day, I do the exact same thing. I wake up, and spend 15-45 minutes convincing myself to get out of bed. Then I eat breakfast, get ready for school and get dropped off at the bus stop. I sit alone every day because my friends who ride my bus have other friends that they'd rather ride with.
I get to school, go to homeroom. I have two friends in there, and they spend most of their time ignoring me and talking to each other. First period, I have to take notes all freaking period. Yeah, I know, in college you do that all day. Whatever. I'm in middle school, not college. Second period, I do math problems and act like I'm not around when the teacher walks by my table. Third period, I do the project or lab we're working on and then sit there and wait. Fourth period, I sit in my seat and do group work alone because nobody wants to be in a group with me. Lunch, I sit at the end of the table while my 'bestie' comes over to talk at everybody at the table other than me. Then, she says, 'Hi, bestie,' and walks back to her table, where she sits with her real friends. Fifth periods next. It's health/gym (tomorrow's gym) and I live in complete fear in that class. I have no friends whatsoever, and if you want friends in any class, it's gym. It's really hard being your own partner in tennis. Trust me on that. And not only that, there are so many mean people in that class, I can't even talk correctly. I'm just to scared. After gym/health, I have an unofficial off-period that they gave me because everybody in the front office is convinced I have no friends and really struggle socially. (Oh, wait. Maybe that's true.) So I sit in the office in pure boredom. Spanish is (thankfully) my last period of the day, and that's that. School could be described as my own personal, private hell.
So, remind why I should get up again? I usually make a list of all the reasons I should, but today, I have nothing. If I get up I face loads of homework, a bunch of people waiting to make snide comments, and fake friends. Not only that, but I face the same exact routine day after day. It's boring. Really boring. I'm sick of this. I hate this life. I don't remember asking for this, and I don't want it.
You know what? I think I'm just going to lie in bed tomorrow with my door locked. Who cares if I'm grounded?
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