I Can't Explain Just What I'm Feeling

Lately I've ben reading my horoscopes and most of the time they are creepily accurate. But sometimes, being my stubborn self I dont listen to them. On Friday night my horoscope told me to not let my anger get the best of me but it was too late for that. I had already argued with my best friend of eleven years.
I believe that argument might have been one of the stupidest things I've ever done. That day I had let all of my emotions take a hold of me and I was also being naiive and listening to everything that everyone was telling me. Anyways, the first part of this journal is for me to suck up my pride and tell my best friend that I'm sorry from the bottom of my heart.
I was being an idiot and I shouldn't have even said any of those things. I really hope you can forgive me and we can just forget everything that happened. Because now, looking back on that argument, I really had nothing to go on and most of what I said isn't true. I know you try to make time for your friends and it's hard to do that but we both need to make a bigger effort at it. To wrap this up I just want to say sorry once more and hope that we can be cool with each other.

Now the second part of this story is kind of directed toward my friend as well but it's also just to get my thoughts out. This weekend I've just been sitting oaround my house and it's given me lots of time to think about how things have been going in my life.
Forty-two days ago my boyfriend and I started dating. Now I realize that is not a lot of time in the big scheme of things but this is really important to me. I have been in two relationships previously but this is the first one that really matters to me. That is why I'm finally beginning to understand how my friend feels about her boyfriend.
All of this weekend I really wanted to see Jon but now I realize that I needed this weekend to just sit and think to myself why I've been feeling the way I'm feeling. I really hope that Jon feels the same way about me that I do about him. He really, truly makes me feel like I'm important and that I'm needed. And I hope that he wants to be with me long term because at this point in time I really think that he could be the one....

xoxo
Hannah