Name one thing that in the room with you right now that is deadly! READYSETGO!

Try it: name one thing in the room with you right now that is deadly. As in, could kill you, or someone else.

Got your item named yet? Feelin' creative? Good. Now let me eliminate some items that don't count:
-knives, glass, or other sharp things
-paper
-ropes, belts, clothing, chains
-chemicals (i.e., ingesting hand sanitizer...doesn't count!)
-electricity

So. Was your item part of the list? Things that could be left include plastic bags, blunt objects, or maybe you're a ninja and you just know how to use that box to kill someone. (If so, do NOT come to my house. Ever.)

My item was a lot smaller, a lot simpler. It's on your hands. It's in your mouth, in your brain! It's on virtually every surface you touch. It's a bacteria. SBD. Small But Deadly. Some of you knew that, some of you didn't - but here are the facts that are bothering me.

Bacteria are gaining resistance to antibiotics. That handsoap your mom always chides you about that says "Antibacterial Hand Soap" on the label in fine print? That handsoap kills ALL the bacteria on your hands. Good, bad, all of it. Bacterium around the world have decided that that's not fair. So they're less vulnerable to antibiotics now. That much you probably knew already. Regardless, I find it a scary thought.

Also on the rise to Deadliness are all sorts of things, like sun exposure, eating too much of unhealthy foods, ingesting certain chemicals, behaving a certain way, doing this, doing that...if you live in a completely sealed bubble with no access granted (EVER) and never ever go out again and live in the dark, you're 100% guaranteed to make it through 2012.

Plus, if everybody lived in bubbles, there'd be no need for politics. The rapidly depleting social security network wouldn't be a problem (nobody would work), the economy wouldn't matter, schooling wouldn't matter. In your bubble you could get all the information you'd ever need via wireless internet. Robots on the outside could breed more humans, since we apparently have some issues when we attempt that ourselves...*ahem* Cleansed of any harmful bacteria prior to entry, chances are good that you'd be okay for quite some time!

Bubbles! Who doesn't love a soft, squishy bubble?

My point in being satirical? That I'm really getting annoyed by all the pessimism that's out there. I can't even get on Farmville on Facebook without seeing that all of my crops have wilted! Am I the only person out there who truly believes in optimism? Yeesh. Obama, take a freaking chill pill. Other politicians, follow his lead for once. World? Shut up so I can SLEEP for once! I am officially sick and tired of being dragged down all the time.

But I guess that's the nature of gravity, after all.