Virginity + Questions

Lately, I've been feeling extremely depressed.
But I'm one messed up person.

I'm a Hypochondriac.
I have Entomophobia.
I'm a girl, with too much boy-like tendencies.
Like, I'd have sex with Call of Duty, if i could.
I don't care what people think of me, but I think that everyone hates me.
I get really suicidal at times.
But never really went through with it.
I'm sure a lot of people have it worse than me.
But I don't like to think about that.
I don't like people telling me what they have wrong with them, especially if it's a lot worse than mine.
I don't get why. Honestly, I don't.

I think I need to see a therapist.
Just because I want someone to listen without putting their opinions into every other thing that I say.
That's why I hate telling my friends about my problems.
They don't really listen, they just nod and wait until it's their turn to speak.
Like almost everyone else.
I don't understand how I can listen to people speak for hours, and honestly empathize with them, yet, when I ask for it in return it's a whole giant ordeal.
Yeah, alright. I'll just listen to you about how your life is so horrible but I'm not allowed to speak about my life. Awesome, I'm just going to set your house on fire now... Then you can not tell me how you life is so horrible now.

Virginity is not such a taboo subject where I live.
But when someone is actually one, *Coughcoughmecough* It's like you're an alien.

My school is filled with druggies, gangsters, 'Emo's', preppies, populars, and posers.
I'm basically with the first three, but not really...
You see? I don't even know what I'm saying half the time.

I've made myself a journal, and it kind of helps me get my thoughts out of my head before it explodes.

See? It's not a giant, mushy, bloody mess atop my neck. Yay!

I hate being in high school, and how in middle school they always tell you,
'Oh, there's no cliques. Nothing like that! Everyone is so mature in high school! You'll love it!'

LIES!

Everyone judges you, everyone.

Whether it's about how you look, your clothes, your hair, your weight, your taste in music, your taste in people, who you hang out with, how smart you are, how many friends you have, how many people you know.. And all that jazz.

I thought it would be different, I thought people would get over themselves during the summer...
No one has.

I like this guy, he ignores me now, ever since I told him I was a virgin.

He likes sluts. Yeah, well I kind of expected that.
But whatever, to each his own, Right?

I thought I was pretty, and I long for someone to tell me that, besides my best friend, because in matters like these, he doesn't count.

He keeps telling me to lose my virginity, that it won't be a touchy subject for me anymore.
But there's parts of me that say, "You'll do it when you're ready."
And others telling me to "Get it over with, it's not that special anyways."

And this is why I get confused.

Questions.
1.Have you been pressured to lose your virginity? By who?
2.What was/is your high school like?
3.Do you have a phobia? What is it?
4.Are you a good listener?
5.Do you know anyone who just doesn't listen? Who?