My Heart...Why is it so hard to give away?

The title is self explanatory. I can't give away my Heart. I couldn't give it away if i tried, and that's what i'm trying to do. For once I want to be able to give it away, to tell someone that I'm in love with them...but i can't.

For as long as I've known, love has been something that every girl has been looking for. When we're young, we're told that the perfect guy is out there waiting for us. That one day we'll meet and it'll be love at first sight...or that he's our best friend, the person who's been with us from the beginning.

Love is something that every girl looks forward whether she wants to admit it or not. She awaits the for day that a guy will fall in love with her, and mean it. The day that she finds someone who will never break her heart, the one person on this earth who wants to cherish her more than anyone else.

I was that girl--just like any other. I wanted to find love, but i wanted it to be with a guy that truly loved me. I didn't want to be like my friends, dating a guy for a few weeks then breaking up. I didn't want the drama, the tears, the lies, deceit, i didn't want any of it.

I wanted a guy that i could trust. I was in no rush to find him either. I knew that when the day came, he would come. If i ran out looking for him, i wouldn't find him. I would find the type of guys that i was trying to avoid. So i waited. I was fine waiting, i didn't see the need to rush, for the very reason that i said earlier.

But he came.

He came to me sooner than i expected but he came. He came in the form of my Junior High best friend. Cliche but true.

He was the Best friend that wanted something more, but held their tongue. He watched me more on to others, some of them his friends, but he never spoke a word. He wanted me to be happy, so he sacrificed his.

Until the day he spoke up. The day that he confessed his feelings, when he told me how he really felt. He seemed to have perfect timing, because i had just developed feelings for him not to long ago.

So things seem perfect, best friends finally getting together and living happily ever after. This couldn't be more wrong.

There aren't any actual problems in our relationship. We've never argued, or had a fight. He's sweet, smart, cute, nice, funny and everything that a girl would want in a guy. When he says that he loves me, he means it.

The only problem: is me.

I just can't say i Love You back. Why? Because i'm scared. I'm scared that maybe he isn't the one. Maybe our relationship isn't as perfect as it seems. Despite how long we've been dating, maybe somewhere along the lines, he will do me wrong. I'll give him my heart and he'll break it and soon, i'll end up like other girls. Heartbroken and alone.

But I want to take the risk. I want to give him my heart. I want him to say I Love You and return the gesture without any hesitation. I haven't lied to him, therefore i haven't returned the gesture.

He's taking a risk by giving me his heart, why can't i take the risk with him. Why should he have to take it alone. I should be standing on that road next to him. Hand in hand, side by side, ready to take on anything that the world tries to throw at us.

But I can't seem to find the road...