It Seems That Her Acceptance Has Diminished.

I haven’t written a journal in forever, but I’m pretty much annoyed now with my mother, because she won’t explain to me her sudden distaste. I’ve recently spoke to her about me being practically in love with a friend of mine, who just so happens to be twenty-three years old and is employed by my step-father. I’ve liked him for about four years now, it started out as an infatuation, turned into a crush and well, not, it pretty much bloomed into ‘love’ or at least it seems to be getting there. This boy knows my feelings and we’re still great friends, but he won’t make any advances because I’m not yet of legal age.

I also spoke to my father about this ‘issue’ and he said, and I quote: “Wait two months and you can do whatever you want, but right now, it’s a no”. In less than two months, I’ll be eighteen, which is why he said that. My mom, on the other hand seem to have started yesterday to be against anything that could happen between I and the boy.

A part of me doesn’t care about what she thinks or why she’s even all of a sudden against this, but a part of me who is very much loyal to my parents, care, and it cares way too much. It actually beat my other side to the ground.

Basically after I told her how much this guy means to me, she approved of it. She noticed that I really care about him and that this guy really makes me happy, as a friend he does and if I could get a chance to be something more, I’ll be just as happy if not more. This guy clearly also cares about me. And we’ve been talking and having fun with each other for years now.

Last Saturday my mother was eager to push me in his grasp, even though I didn’t want to. She spoke to me about him and me ever getting together and told me that she definitely approves. Since Saturday, she, for the first time, actually saw him and me interacting.

Yesterday, when I was speaking to the guy outside, she came to me, called me inside and told me I’m not allowed to go back outside. I don’t know why she did that, but I went with it and stayed inside. I wasn’t even really talking to the guy, I was talking to someone else.

And now today, she stopped me from going outside, told me I’m not allowed. I don’t understand why she’s stopping me. I asked her why and she doesn’t give me a straight answer. I don’t mind her telling me not to go, but she could at least tell me why. Did she change her mind about us? Did someone tell her something about the guy and me?

I don’t know and this is causing me both annoyance and confusion.