Anti-Depressants

last night my mom said i had to start taking anti depressants
she said she had taken them for years
and that it wasnt my fault.
she said my dad had taken them too
and i had recieved it rather unfairly
but that i was losing control of myself,
and i had been for a while.
she came to my door and told me i needed help
but im not crazy.
im fun.
im a friend.
i love my friends with my life.
i hate my home life.
i hate myself.
i dont handle change well.
so what if i was cutting.
they were constantly hurting me.
i wasnt in control.
whats wrong with wanting to be in control?
i could control my razorblade.
i felt better afterwards.
happy.
who are you to take that away from me?
i just want to be happy.