Okay, so me and my (now ex) boyfriend have been dating for a little longer than two months. We both claimed to like each other since we laid eyes on one another when we met a few months prior to our dating. After the constant flirting and teasing we finally got together.
Our relationship stirred up some drama in the beginning but we got over it and we stayed strong. I could feel us drifting away right before our second month, but we were fine. I started noticing something different about him though. It was like he was kind of distant though I know I don't have room to talk because it takes a lot for me to get close to anyone.
Today, my best friend pointed out a girl and said that my boyfriend was talking about her. Confused, I asked her what she was talking about. That's when she asked me if I knew. Beyond confused, I asked her in what in the world she was talking about. That's when she explained to me that my boyfriend had a crush on this other girl.
I confronted my boyfriend on it only to have him conform it. I understand that he likes other people and I knew we were pulling apart. I didn't think he would go behind my back though.
He went behind my back and told my best friend he wanted to break up with me but didn't know if he should because the girl he likes might not like him back. I guess I feel more betrayed than anything. I haven't shed a single tear since the break up.
Maybe I was just in love with the idea of being in love. This is the third guy to hurt me within the last few months.
The first guy was a total sweetheart who was very fun to be around. We weren't dating but I had trusted him with my past issues. He knew about my previous self-harm and vowed to help. Well, I found out he was moving to Michigan and tried my best to stay strong. After a few jokes, he became pissed at me. He said I was flirting with another guy, which I wasn't. I liked the other guy, but I didn't flirt with him. Me and him haven't talked since.
The second guy was a badass guy who knew how to be a sweetheart. He was good looking and I just immediately fell for him. He was the best friend of the guy who moved to Michigan. I know I sound like a whore but this guy was here to pick me up when me and the guy who moved to Michigan stopped talking. I guess I was desperate for someone to understand me, so I went to him with everything. He was there for me and got what he wanted. Then he stopped talking to me and now we barely make eye contact when we run into each other. Because I did things with him, I just feel so attached to him. I exposed more of myself to him than I have to anyone else. (Not sexually).
The third guy is my now ex boyfriend that I explained. Why do I go for the pricks?
I cried over the first two guys but I haven't cried over my now ex yet. I guess I just didn't have as much feeling towards him as I did in the beginning of our relationship. I'm just not really sure what to do. I feel like I want to cry, but only because it seems like the proper thing to do after a break up.
I'm just so lost. I'm kind of going back into my numb and insecure state where I don't trust anyone or get close to anyone. I leaned on those guys and now I guess I'm just kind of done leaning on people for a while. I really don't know what to do. I don't know if I will be able to trust anyone else ever again. :C
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