Blue Rose by Sarah Daltry

Alana has been dragged through a hell that no one should ever experience. Two of the most influential men in her life raped her and the other two sculpted her into the girl she wanted to be. The first of the two best men in her life is Jack. Technically, he was a boy when they first met in sixth grade but from the first time he looked at Alana, she knew that she'd love him for the rest of her life. Sex always made her feel ashamed and dirty. Because she developed early and was really pretty, all the girls called her a slut and all the boys believed it, but not Jack. He had his own bag of hell though. His dad killed his mom and he went to jail for it while Jack went to live with his grandmother. Jack was from then on the son of a dirty killer. No one cared about these two kids, so they cared for each other. Then one day the second of the best men came into Alana's life. A boy named Dave gave Jack and Alana a fair chance. While Alana and Jack had an on again off again sexual relationship that she adored, Dave became close friends to both of them until he fell for Alana himself. He went out with her and forgave her for things that he couldn't understand even though he knew she would never be over Jack and that went on until Dave joined the military. Jack and Alana still had sex and a few raunchy threesomes while Jack went to college, but Alana never went to college because she was so afraid to leave Jack after his suicide attempt. Dave sent one last letter saying that he'd never forget her, but he needed to move on. None of this mattered to Alana until the day she started seeing her therapist Melinda who offered her tea and a safe environment to deal with her anxiety and talked her into letting Jack go so Alana could find a way to live again...and maybe even work things out with the man she was always meant to be with.