What would your mom (or dad) do if...?

My dad would kick me out the house, absolutely no doubt about it. He doesn't care if I cover myself in tattoos or piece my ears a million times but he absolutely draws the line at facial piercings. He had to be seriously cajoled into letting me get my eyebrow pierced back when I was 15 and since then, there's been a strict no-facial-piercings tolerance in my house. It's the only reason why I haven't had my nose pierced yet.

If you announced you were moving to another country permanently?

Not care! I did that when I moved to California so they probably dealt with it then because I recently told them I have to go to New Zealand now for several years and neither of them even asked why. They're so used to this kind of thing from me.

If you told them you were getting married to someone you've never physically met in person before?

Get really mad and forbid me from doing it. My mom would probably send me all of these statistics about online predators and stuff.

If you failed two or more classes?

Sit me down and ask me why I'm failing. If I've been trying my hardest in those classes, they wouldn't be too strict on me, they'd probably just tell me to seek more help. If I wasn't trying / not doing any work towards it, they'd be really fucking mad because they didn't bring me up to not try my hardest.

If you totalled a new car?

Judge me harshly, but they didn't pay for it so they really can't do anything.

If you bought the Batmobile with their retirement fund?

They'd better be okay with it. I think my dad would see the funny side, but my mother would probably yell at me for being so irresponsible and childish.

If you came back from the supermarket with nothing but paprika-flavoured crisps (chips)?

Ask, "Is that all you went to the shop for?"

If you spent $20,000 on a wedding...for your dogs?

Lose the plot and basically sever all ties with me. Probably force me into seeing a psychologist too.

If you eloped?

Not be surprised. My mum would bitch about it for eternity though.

If you sold your sibling (or cousin/relative) to the circus?

Depends on what one. If I sold my brother off, no one would notice anyway because he never leaves his room like...ever. Nah, I joke. They'd probably send me to get them back and get really furious at me for thinking it was a good idea.

If you managed to shrink an entire load of washing?

My mom would throw a fit and never let me do the load again.

If you came home with a missing finger?

Take me to hospital first, but I'm pretty sure they'd completely freak at me afterwards and grill me until I told them how it happened.

If you disappeared for a week straight without telling them where you were?

Not even notice I was gone.

If you decided to publish a book you wrote about them?

I don't think they'd care. They haven't really done anything cringeworthy anyway so it would be a boring-ass book.

If you painted your entire room bogey-coloured?

Bogey colored as in... snot? Seeing as I did that in my old room, they wouldn't even mention it

If you got married in Vegas to a stranger?

I'd get teased for saying "I'm never getting married".

If you decided to become a stripper / sexual dancer?

Disown me. Absolutely.

If you broke your mobile phone?

My mother would not care. I pay for my own phone bills, so she would just expect me to replace it and move on with life.

If you began a YouTube web series?

Probably not care. My mom probably wouldn't care because she doesn't go on youtube, though she might watch some of the videos to see if i'm filming anything about my family. >.<

If you had to strip for money?

As a one time deal? She'd laugh at me then call me stupid (happened once). As a job? She'd probably be really disappointed but she'd butt out after she made it clear how bad an example I am to my kids.

If you legally changed your name to Beyonce?