Take my hand and we'll make it - I swear

Something has been off with him since it happened, since that thing masqueraded around as him and he's felt it ever since. Not just in himself but in how others are looking at him and how they're giving him a wide distance between them and him. Sure, Scott has been as loyal as ever and the rest of the group has too but they're all still kind of looking at him with these eyes that say they don't really trust him and they expect him to try and kill them again. He's assured them over and over and over again that it's not the case but the look in their eyes tell him they don't exactly believe him.

He's got this inner struggle, this war inside himself because Stiles thinks that they might be right because sometimes he catches himself in this dark place and wondering things he shouldn't be thinking about and it's scaring him but he just slaps on the same smile and snarks his way about his life and he's pretending to be okay again. And sure, it's working because his dad believes him and Melissa is embracing him like she usually does and slowly his friends are acting like they begin to trust him even if that look doesn't fade as quickly. But he doesn't feel like him anymore.

His hands shake and his mind races and his breathing is so off sometimes that he thinks he's losing his mind and that he'll never be in control again, like he's a passenger in his own body. He doesn't like it. But out of all of this, there is one person that's stayed by his side and she's never wavered and she just holds his hand silently. It makes him cringe because it felt like it was his fault, that Scott was hurt, that Allison died, and that this fox beast was able to mess him up like that because he's not different-- because he's human. The token human, something he prided himself on and now he's thinking that he's better away from everyone where his messed up mind can't bring this out again.

His fingers twitch and he's drumming something on his thigh and his foot is bouncing and his mind is doing the thing where it runs a million miles a minute while he pretends to be listening to one of his friends talk about something and he's just nodding at random points when it feels like he should and honestly, he isn't there. Scott's been talking about animal attacks and trying to get Stiles interested in the conversation, asking if they should go check it out and see if it's just some attack or if it's a threat to the safety of the town. Stiles doesn't know how to answer him, should he scream at Scott that they can't do anything because Cora was right and they're just stupid teenagers that find the bodies without actually helping or should he just nod and go along with what Scott wants to do?

"Sure, animal attacks are like our speciality and whatever but maybe we should just leave it alone for a while and see if anything else comes out? I ca ask my dad about it later, see what he says."

His words are hallowed out and spacey, he's not really there. He wants to be anywhere but where he is and his tapping has picked up double time. Slowly, his eyes are moving around the room and he's watching the faces of those around them because if it was something truly awful then the rest of the student body would be talking about it but all he can hear is chatter about finals and end of semester projects due and damn, he hasn't studied and he's going to need some serious help in order to make it to senior year at this rate.

"I need to find Lydia and ask her a question."

He doesn't give Scott a second to respond before he's out of his seat and looking for that strawberry blonde to ask a huge favor of. One he shouldn't be asking because he needs to stay away from her because she doesn't need to be around him more than possible and it's his fault that her best friend is dead and she should hate him because he hates himself.

"I guess what I don't understand is how your relationship with Stiles hasn't changed? Because I know Scott's been struggling with it lately and not that you and Stiles aren't close but he's Stiles' best friend and you have a better relationship with him than Scott."

Lydia sighed as she put her locker combination in. "I can't really explain the relationship I have with Stiles because it's complicated really. But what I can tell you is that Stiles has always been there for me, even before I knew who he was he was there for me. He's always just been there to pull me back to reality when I needed it, or encouraged me when I didn't believe in myself. I don't know that I could've made it this far without him. And so I can't just turn my back on him now when he needs me more than ever. So in a way, this is my chance to repay him for everything he's done for me that I never thanked him for. Plus he didn't ask for this, he didn't want this, and it isn't his fault that Allison's dead. So blaming Stiles for the pain, I feel about losing my best friend isn't going to do anyone any good." She told Kira biting her lip. Lydia didn't know much about how Scott was handling things, and she hadn't realized that Scott was struggling when it came to Stiles. Though, she did understand how that could happen. She also knew that right now Stiles needed someone, and in an odd way she felt like that someone really was her. Like they were tethered together and had been for a while.

She wished she could be more helpful, or that she knew exactly what to tell Kira to tell Scott about what was happening, but she didn't. Lydia didn't know any more about what was going on with Stiles than he did most likely. Usually, she didn't ask either, not because she wasn't curious and didn't care, but because she didn't know how to ask. She also wasn't sure what to ask. So more often than not when Stiles wasn't avoiding her, they'd talk about everything else.

"Well thanks for the talk," Kira said biting her lip before sending Lydia a small smile and making her away down the hall most likely to find Scott.

Lydia smiled back before finally pulling her books out of her locker then shutting it and noticing Stiles walking towards her from the corner of her eye. "Hey," she said turning to him as he approached her. "Why do I get the feeling you're about to ask me for a huge favor?" She asked hoping to lighten the mood a little because well with everything going on in his life she figured it'd be helpful. And of course, whatever he was going to ask her for, she'd most likely give him so it wasn't like he needed to stress over asking her.

[ sorry this took me forever! I kept getting distracted! Anyways I'll start the Marauders one tomorrow I promise! ]

@ Lily Evans