Confess on My Wayward Son

Rameses' Kitten Hina:

why am i feeling a sense of dread all of a sudden? I suddenly feel so uncomfortable on this site... just what the hell?

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Yep, that might explain it...

Same

Welcome back

@ Ruby Salazar
I'm here if you want to talk.

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Well this awkward mood of mine is making me write about something i normally don't write about. Which is good because it's inspiring me to write again.

Ahh, I know exactly who you are. Racism is alive and well on this site again!

Can't believe you're trying to deny it.

lol this has gotten past embarrassing

We missed you and your unapologetic racism

You act high and mighty, but your mortal just like the rest of us.

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Interesting. Veryyyy interesting.

All this shade on such a sunny day.

I hate when people use 'freedom of speech' as a ticket to be completely rude and disregarding other people's feelings. I just don't understand how people don't mind about others being hurt just so they can say what they want. Emotional and mental hurt are painful as well, you know. Even though you can never see the scars.

Sincerely,
A girl who had been mentally and emotionally bullied all throughout high school senior year.

Honestly it's great to see who is very conscience of PoC, it's awesome. Like y'all the real MVP's, and you all are invited to the barbecue.

Feeling really inspired right now. Thanks to Supernatural and Effy. THANK YOU! (mean this in a good way )

Today was my last day on the floor. A half hour before we left I discovered a patient, by way of a tech asking for help, who...really needed somebody. He had two back to back strokes and little to no family, his wife had just died. The weekend crew had clearly neglected him and the nurse and the techs were busy with several other, admittedly more difficult, patients. SCDs and boots weren't documented as off in over two days and he'd been incontinent at least twice. He didn't say a single word except for when I asked him if he was feeling better. To which, of course, the answer was "No." He wouldn't help bathe himself, despite being capable, and instead just lay there apathetically with these eyes that weren't afraid to look into the depths of mine. Occasionally he would smile, but not always. Towards the end of it the tech came in and helped me to turn him, because he wouldn't do that either, and when he was on his side he grabbed my arm and just rubbed it: I don't think he'd been touched with intention in days. He moved from near my shoulder down from my hand and squeezed it hard, so I squeezed back. And then he was asleep. Or pretending to be. Or his eyes were closed and he didn't care to answer us. So we cleaned up his room and left him to himself for a little. I got to peak in one last time before I had to go and he still wouldn't respond or open his eyes, I told him I was leaving and that if he needed help to hit the call light, and I still don't know if he was sleeping or just too apathetic to come back to the moment. But I noticed his breakfast tray was still there (at 11:30, when breakfast is served at 7am on our floor) so I took it, looking over it in hopes he'd at least eaten. And he hadn't. He'd maybe taken a single bite of it. The spoon lay next to the bowl with food still on it. The crew hadn't even helped him to eat. No one told us about him. And I'm angry and sad that in those last 5 minutes I was helpless for him.

Heerrreee we go. Just gonna go listen to songs on youtube now....

I've never been good with words when it comes to expressing how I feel which is ironic because I'm a writer.

Anyway, I'm not in the mood for anyone's bullshit at the moment. In a few hours, my grandma will enter the surgery room to get her cancer removed. I'm stuck at work instead of being there with her. I'm worried sick because she has a few other complications that the doctors are worried of. But they're still pushing through for the surgery. And I need a lot of prayers right now.

This is gonna be fun ...

You're actually disgusting. Vile. Evil little creature.

@ little me;
You and your grandma are in my thoughts.

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I'm getting really inspired to write but the desire's not there and my mood's been off all day. I really need to get some sleep.

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What the hell you doing? Just what????

Ironic that it's ignored. That's what you want isn't it? So why no response to my question?
I know why. Cause I'm a ghost. Because I'm not "one of you".
Also no action either, because "Lets see how this plays out".

Ridiculous.

Thank you.