I never really found the need to 'come out' or whatever, to my friends or family. I mean, as long as it's not eating you away inside, what's the point of making such a big deal out of confessing it? I don't even know what I am for sure, though if I had to say, I'd probably say I'm bisexual. But I don't like saying that, because I don't like slapping a label onto myself like that, and I think that's how I'd feel if I ever 'came out' to anyone.
And it's not like my family situation is picture perfect, like they wouldn't care. My dad, who is intolerant of pretty much anything (he grew up in a scummy New York City neighborhood, raised by strict Catholics, so chances are, he was taught that even beating up a gay guy on the street would be the right thing to do), probably would get pretty pissed, but I've stopped caring about it. I don't feel the need to worry about how he'd react and plan how to tell him, so I just don't. I think people should just let their friends and family figure it out for themselves; maybe when you grow up, you'll move out and as an adult, you'll bring a girlfriend home for Christmas, and I think your family can figure it out from there.
My best friends already know, and they couldn't care less. A girl kissed me twice at a dance once, then again at school the next day. And my best friend tricked me into kissing her as a joke (I fell down in a dirt parking lot, cutting up my elbow; my friend was like 'You want me to kiss it and make it better?' and I went along with it and was like 'Yeah :tehe:', so she leaned in and kissed me on the lips, right in front of her boyfriend too)--so obviously my friends don't care and I'm not worried about that.
My mom obviously wouldn't care--she even gets pissed at my dad for being such an intolerant prick. I remember being at the gynecologist one or two years ago, filling out this set of questions, questions like 'Do you smoke?' and 'Are you sexually active?' One of the questions went something along the lines of 'Are you aware of your sexuality?' I checked 'Unsure' because I didn't really want to say right out that I knew--and I still don't know. My mom was reading a copy of my answers later on, and she said 'really?' with a look of curiosity on her face. She clearly didn't care, but she did say something afterward like 'well, you might wanna make sure your father doesn't know, because you know he'd probably kick you right out of the fucking house'. I just smiled. I still don't feel the need to really 'confess' to anyone. I don't see the point, it was never a big deal or me.
September 20th, 2008 at 09:28pm