Oh, your profile made me smile.. I was was bored so I clicked on it, cause I think it's interesting seeing other people's profile's. And I'm a Christian too, and I have the same things going on with my parents and such.
all my friends say that they look up to me. i don't see how. but then again, well. i'm loud, i'm smart, i'm clumsy, i talk to everyone, i care about everybody way too much, i don't care what others think of me as long as i'm comfortable.
i wish i had stayed care-free. i mean i have never been the type to impress someone, boy crazy, or even tried to be better than another. i've always had my best friend and one boy. then my best friend just happened to betrayed and that's when my life went downhill. i lost confident, i got really, [b]really[/b] sick, my friends started to walk over me, my love and i were having troubles. then i just broke free, i let all the pointless people life go, i erased them from my memories sorta.
what happened?
did like a 'let life be stressful' hormone just kick in at a certain age?
i remember my grandma taking me to taco bell to meet up with my daddy. he couldn't see us from the highway, so my grandmother started dancing to the little teapot. i just laughed until tears spranged down my cheeks and my stomach churned. i had no idea what embarassment felt like in those days. now, i'm self consious. but i've been gaining my confidence lately.
i miss playing in the rain with my mother, wrestling in the mud and not worrying about looking a mess, being in love without a care in the damn fucking world, it's all bittersweet now. i just wish i could turn back time to where my life actually started. dont we all?