Sundance Kid. / Comments

You're right! Peterick does exist! I can't believe I even doubted it for a second!!! *swoons at the hotness of peterick*

You're welcome, and nothings ever really up. I'm pretty boring, I do a lot of homework.

No problem. Your writing is good the way it is, that's just something that would make it better.

You are so very welcome!

What I meant by that was that the majority of your story is the characters talking to each other, I feel like the story would be better if you included more of their thoughts and feelings and described their surroundings and actions. You get the plot/story-line across by writing what the characters are saying but your writing would be better if you included other details or descriptions.

However, in many places you were very descriptive, so it's just a little thing.

You're welcome, I really like your writing style. And basically what I meant was that when, for example, you described the mansion, I feel liked you could have been specific about what it looks like, so that a reader can see In their head what you are portraying... Other than that it really is amazing! :]

I am by no means perfect, I'm just gifted with really good grammar, or I've just taken enough language classes to understand how it works.

In that last message I meant "doesn't come from the dialogue" not "doesn't come the dialogue" I missed a word.

You're welcome. You're grammar really isn't that bad, and your dialogue is good and very descriptive although your story could benefit from detail that doesn't come the dialogue, that is if you're writing with the objective of becoming a professional writer that's something you could work on, if you're just having fun writing about the band then it's lovely.

Yeah, I've seen older people make many more mistakes.

You're not stupid, I've seen people with far worse spelling and grammar than yours.

Yeah, I am rather smart, which has it's advantages, but results in lots of homework cause I have to take honors classes.

I have no idea it just happens.

No, I just have ridiculously good grammar.

No problem.

By the way those are all in chapter four.

In the first paragraph you said “I wouldn’t had gone” when it should be “I wouldn’t have gone” also in the second paragraph you said “school mean Jon,” when it should be “school meant Jon,” in the thirteenth paragraph from the bottom you said “or I over dose on my pills” it should be “or I overdosed on my pills” and in the paragraph after that you said “and vampire didn’t exist” it should be “and vampires didn’t exist” or you could say “and vampires don’t exist” I think it works either way. Hope that helps.

OK, you had one mistake in I wanna scream I love you from the top of my lungs and you had 3 grammar mistakes in Tainted Fairy Tale.

Ok, I didn't want my corrections to seem obnoxious.