the4PonyGirls / Comments

Thank you for the story comment. It's nice to know you actually checked out my writing before you judged. There's no need for, as you say, culture or location. It's a short story. If you think this chapter is long, imagine if I wrote her entire background? The character is a teenager. Which is why she is still living with her parent. It doesn't need to be said. It was implied. As for the mistakes. I noticed you have a thing for commas. I don;'t like to use so many. The summary is correct. It is, "Carry me home tonight." One straight sentence. There is no need for a comma there and where you pointed out the, "out the back before any". Those, I'm sure of, are right. As for the, "to get in through the small opening", you're right. It should be through. Thanks for pointing that out. :)

I'm sorry if you got offended by my comment. I did not like your story and that is my opinion. Would you have liked me to lie and praise you?

ABOUT MY STORY COMMENT.
Title in russian? what does it mean?
-It’s in the summary and says as follows:
Крови /krovi/ 1. Blood (n.)

The entire summary is a quote of "Niersche"? is it. Nietzsche
Rather, it should be 2 separate quotes. this looks like a bad quotation to me. I feel at least the later is incorectly frased? –it’s Nietzsche and it is phrased correctly, that’s how you can find it written… if you’d look.

(Chapter 3) "crystal –like" is "crystal–like", or? (word fucked up, what can I say?
"roaming around… shadows", sounds odd, "roaming shadows" would be better? (good point)
"his delirious head" is this the man, or the boys head? (in that chapter I am talking about what varg is feeling so ???)

"He woke up one day suddenly and" is "He woke up one day, suddenly, and" to make it flow naturally. (could be…)

"changes in him" is "changes in himself" (aah, yes didn’t notice that, thank you).

I'm curious, are you russian, or speak russian? ( I am not Russian, but I speak a bit of it because I am learning… I was born in the us and now reside in Mexico cause I have mexican blood as well as north american.)

English isn't your native tongue? There are a few grammatical problems, from what seems to hint this. ( It actually is my native language… I can’t say anyone is perfect and doesn’t have typos… don’t you think?)

Yeah of course you're still allowed to, I was just being polite :) haha.
I reply to comments all the time, especially when there's feedback or a question or something.
Yeah it did make sense and thank you for replying :)

You really don't have to thank me. I just hope that somehow the feedback I gave allows you to improve your writing in the future :)

Thank you so much for the comment and the suggestions, I really appreciate the feedback!
Yeah, Tristan is a bit of an odd one. XD He smoked in his human life and the habit never really left him.

If it help the readers, I'm happy. Maybe someone could include how well it fit the chapters in the comment. Considering I currently have 10 comments due in.
After all, it serves my interest too, if I can help you enjoying the story.
Since I know you don't have to read the entire story, helping you choose which part to read, is better for everyone, so long as it actually do help you find your part to comment on.

Anytime and thanks for the extra info!! x

I'm sorry if it offended you in any way, but I'm glad it helped to fix some stuff. :)

I saw your comment on Comment Swap, about reporting a title. I would tell the author that they need to capitilize their title before just reporting it. It makes people really mad and they deserve a chance to fix such a small mistake.

please don't read my story.
go scold Stephen Chbosky for inspiring me to write in that specific format.

No problem n if you ever need help I'm here. :)
Keep up with the good work!!!

Merry Christmas ..
& a Happy Nude Deer !!!

Hope you are posting the next chapter soon!