I got too stressed.
And usually, after Adam died, when I got too stressed I ran.
I ran straight to the razor.
That's what I did this time.
But then, I felt like I was being slapped upside the head, like when my friend David found me when I tried attempting suicide.
I guess they're still trying to tell me not to be a dumbass.
So in short, I almost started doing what I promised I would stop