vices / Comments

you are too cool.

OOOHHHHHHHHH, I thought I was being sneaky with my status and that no one would get it, or would assume it pertains to the OFC.


Thank you so much for the comment!

Gurl, you love my comments? I LOVE YOURS. ALWAYS.
I have a list of male names I like on my word docs, but not female. :3 I need to get on that.
BUT OH DAYUM THANK YOU FOR YOUR LIST, MAMA <3
You saint! And you were in Fresno!? (I saw on your snap story) I love San Francisco and I'm going to live there one day. After my undergrad in Alaska, of course.
And my writing isn't all that! But I doooooo like the way you write.
Srsly, Heartland was so emotional and 'wtf-esque' I love it.
I just re-read what I commented on it and dayum I was drunk on the lack of sleep hahahaha.

ayyyy lmaoooo um yes he did
he's a kid who's stoned at least half of the day u kno they think on a higher plane than u & i
(YOU AND I
WE DON'T WANNA BE LIKE DEMMMM)
ok donut kill me but i actually never watched pitch perfect???
/sorry
but quinn and judy are so dysfunctional tbh but u gotta luv them

well duh alex
all good dads teach their daughters about high complex mathematical equations and have horribly abusive relationships with them
that's how they show their love
dUH
ur prob the best accountant on the west coast
#tru

#CASBRAEZREX
omg this has escalated so quickly gosh i luv it
but ya ezra like
I H8U BUT ILY
u feel???
i hate him and i made him so idk man i feel u
IT'S A NOD TO HER PURITY YOU KNOW
like wow u r as soft and delicate as this white flower & i like u here u go

omg sunshine!!!!
u called me poundcake yAAAAS
but no lol i just had rly bad writers block and them my lil laptop was like omg??? this draft u been working on for two-three years and that is ur heart and soul??? imma corrupt the file and just make it so u can't access it bc it's all nonsense and then delete it on u yeah

so i'm basically starting from fresh and it kinda sucks lol but u know as the great poet drake once said
u only liv once

yo yo yoooo
THE SHADE WAR HAS COMMENCED
TWO OF THE SHADIEST GIRLS ALIVE
[munches aggressively on snacks]
a heist omg omg what are we stealing??? pancakes? pls let it be pancakes

SUNSHINE & POUNDCAKE
SHOWING ALL THESE LIL GIRLS HOW IT'S DONE
and I say
HELL YEAH
HELL YEAH
[YONCE GIMME DA STRENGTH]

*deep rich melody plays in the background*
ari girl u betta take notes ok
my lil sunshine does not repeat herself
bc it's not like the weasties bury people in stale bagels or something
NO
hugs not ughs - ezra aka future baby daddy

[SO DONE]

#CASBRALEXFORPREZ
#heckyapolyamory

GOSH DIDDLY DARN JOHNNY BOY YOU HAD ONE GOSH DARN JOB

can we make this a rl thing omg
/ded

OH GAWD JOHNNY BOY I THINK THIS IS IT
LIAM PAYNE DONE WENT TOO FAR
I LIVED A GOOD LIFE YA HEAR
GO ON NOW GIT
DON'T WORRY ABOUT ME
JUST FIND THAT LIL CHEST PAYNE BOY
#poundcakedyin'
frickin' ezra i canNOT with him


EZRA AND LIAM ARE SO HIGH WHAT THE HELL

dun dun dun dun (however the song goes idk)

oh dat tru dat tru
u r so wise sunshine

<Pitbull>
HARRY STYLES STARTS CRYING
ZAYN SHAVES HIS FACE
#WEASTIESDOWN

#wearealwaysup
#up4cudlesw/cuties
#amiriteladies

1. (r.i.p. point i forgot about???)
2. hehehehe
3. omg i knew it #nailedit
4. NO HABLO
5. [unz unz unz]

OH MY GOSH
#CODEREDGIRLS
IT'S CODE RED
#SUNSHINE HAS WHIPPED OUT THE FROZEN BAGELS
THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I REPEAT NOT A DRILL

THEY'RE ACTING LIKE SPIES
SPIES
FRICK
dead so dead oh GOD
but no i'm fine
just have an unrealistic expectation for boys now that's all

i dunno ok
BUT LOU'S SCRUFF???
don't talk to me about scruff man

basically ya i know
it's wild
this world is meh

NO SHE DID NOT
BLOODYFACE
MOMENT OF SILENCE FOR DA BAE
#uwillbmissed
that scared the crap out of me sorry like sUGAR WOW omg he is just killin'
like
literally
gonna slay in style
EXCELLENT

#WEASTIESRSOFAB
woaH NO
no omg i haven't seen it????
what i need to find this and giggle into the dead of night but omg omg
there's this youtube video (here) that gives me life omg u r welcome bae
LANAAAAA omg
she can sing our soundtrack yaaas lana yaaaas
C'EST VRAI
ain't no wifey
unless it's liam's u feel
but zachary???
ZACHARY GOSH DANG WOW
u r so evil y do i luv u so?
but he's most def a bae wow
#JESUSTAKETHECAR

ty sunshine
omg can u imagine us as eldery people racing on our little motor scooters???
/ded

well thank you so much!
:)))

OH SNAP THE SHADE WAR HAS BEGUN
MIMI VS ALEX
who will win
[munches on popcorn]
omg wtf am i supposed to do with my order of stale bagels
GOSH DIDDLY DARN IT

woah y'all better watch out
sunshine & poundcake r on the prowl 2nite
dafuq no do not play with me rn
U KNOW HOW I FEEL ABOUT YONCE
yonce all on his mouf like liquor
i haven't seen the trailer bc i think the plot is dumb but wtf
YONCEEE HOW COULD UUUU
i kinda wanna see it now just for the remix gosh darn
[screaming bc yonce needs to release this right now]

ARI SIT UR CUTE LIL BUTT DOWN
AND LISTEN TO ALEX'S WISDOM OKAY LISTEN TO THIS LADY
SHE'S GOT EXPERIENCE AND STUFF
running around with the weasties has taught us a lot about dem boiz
right right bc it's not like we stale bagel people to death

#BRALEX4PROMCOUPLE

oh gosh diddly darn
that crazy gang girl got loose again

#WEASTIESLLC
#THROWINSHADEFOR60+YEARS

do not fuck with me right now
liam payne is like
s2g he's high
(ON LIFE MY LIL ANGEL)
OH GOD THAT VIDEO
#POUNDCAKDOWN
#THISAIN'TADRILL
#SOMONECALLHARRY
#SOHECANGIVEMEMOUTHTOMOUTH
#LAWDSOMEONEHELPME
(and it was published on my birthday rly wtf omg i'm ded ily)
yo u kno who else has a good twitter
EZRA FRICKLEFRACKLE KOENIG THAT'S WHO
yep that's me
queen baebee, phd in feels, resident consultationist for mibbians sitewide
u know wut it is
black and yellow black and yellow

LANA HAS MESSED ME UP EMOTIONALLY OKAY
she makes me wanna put on high heels and pretty dresses and seduce president kennedy okay i am not alright

<Pitbull>
WE ARE NOT THAT HIGH
NOT REALLY

#lexdown
#sunshinedown
#poundcakealsodown

1. excellent
2. PERFECT THIS MAKES MY HEART HAPPY
3. oh ok well im glad we cleared this up
4. PARA SIEMPRE
5. [rly cool beat]

KAI IS OUTTA CONTROL
u saw what happened today okay???
she was all like woAH HENRY u r such a babe kiss me
he was all like lol nah
THEN THEY KISSED A LOT
u gonna have to spray them with cold water idk man bagels will not cut it

FRICKIN' LIAM OKAY I CAN'T
the commercial for their perfume came out and i'm still in bed
i'm in a comatose state s2g

ok rl tlk for a min
WHO THE HELL LETS ZAYN SHAVE
WHO
RLY BECAUSE
like that scruff
that scruff got me feelin' crazy in love ya feel
SEE WUT I DID DER

prob did turn 12 i still look the same
except i have boobs but ya
OOH ONCE AGAIN
ALEX VS MAROON 5
who will win
oh golly we're the most fashionable girl gang on the planet
i luv it
(can we pls pls pls do our hair all cute and adorable omg frickin' pompadours YAAAS)
hell ya froyo
we gotta take a break from kickin ass sometime u kno
throwing so much stale bread gets rly tiring after a while bae

#WEASTIESRSOPROUD
I'M SO I'M SO
PROUD OF U
man frick off drake gosh dang ur too soft to be a #weastie
no but really
i watched her itunes festival thing last night and i was like
LANA WHAT THE HELL REALLY WHO GAVE YOU THE RIGHT
TO BE SO GOSH DARN SASSY AND FIERCE AND PERFECT
she's obvs an honorary member of the #weasties c'mon
omg u did not just go there
KIT WALKER IS MY BABE OKAY
WE'RE GETTING MARRIED ONE DAY PROBABLY
PROBABLY NOT
but still
i'm nobody's wifey but i'll strongly consider it for him bc damn kit
gosH DANG
the name game is everybody's jam
do not be embarassed
lbr the only reason i started watching it was for zachary quinto like
then i saw evan peters and i was like
#LAWD
#SOMEONETAKETHEWHEELPLS

u need to ok the rush of feels will end u
take it from me ok i'm sort of a scientist u feel

bae
baybae
why r u always so angry like
mimi can't help being dumb and young u kno
(just realized that mimi is like two years old holy crap man)
BUT MAKING COMMOTIONS IS MIMI SPECIALTY
she's SIXTEEN THAT'S KINDA HER JOB
idk man
u should be excited
(get the bagels ready)

thank you for the comments!
i think that the similarities have something to do with writing the stories at the same time as well.
also, a kind of contradiction is totally just for me to write out frustration and stuff with other stories (mostly bloom) and it's definitely going to have some similarities because of that.
i guess i just like weird, complicated characters that nobody understands?

YES I DID
also saw ur double update u r not sneaky omg
on my deathbed now
ALSO
u r my bae ok
no do NOT
the remix is literally on repeat and i have no shame ngl like
YOU WISH I WAS YOUR POUNDCAKE
i simply cannot
if she remixes crazy in love i'll actually die ok
I JUST CAN'T ANYMORE

OMG
that's such a cute nickname luuuuv it
GOTTA BE LIKE LISTEN ARI
GOTTA ROMANCE THEM BOYS WITH CLASS OK

#BRALEX OR DIE
/tru

LAWD HELP ME
THIS GIRL IS WILD

that's tru tho
#WEASTIES4LYF
#REPPINWEASTIES
#ALLDAYERRDAY

NO YOU KNOW WHO'S OUTTA CONTROL
LIAM GODDAMN CHEST PAYNE THAT'S WHO
his twitter actually gives me life like wtf who lets this kid near the internet
i lOVE IT
good juan amiga
HECK YA FREE CONSULTS
GOTTA TAKE CARE OF MY GIRLS
u kno how it is

excuse me for the emotions
i'm watching lana live on youtube and this shit is killin me
the bae is actually flawless like wtf lana

<Pitbull>
[extraterrestrials wage war against the galaxy]

#CASBRALEX
lawd
man down

1. don't worry my cellar is full of stale bagels i got u
2. BAGEL KNUCKLES WHAT A FANTASTIQUE IDEA
3. oh ok so u mean rl ded
4. v imp to have accents ok
5. WE CANNOT BE TAMED YOUNG ONE

DANG kai u betta watch out
u r about to get a weastie style intervention
side order of discipline I cAN'T

LIAM SPENT ALL DAY PRETENDING TO BE NIALL'S BIGGEST FAN LIKE I'M SO ANGRY AND HAPPY RN

#THESEHOESAIN'TLOYAL
omg pattycake u r so ded
poor u

I DON'T EVEN FEEL 19 I STILL FEEL 12 LIKE WHAT EVEN
but bae omg u r the best
messing up these lyrics for me
#trufriendship
HEELS WITH STUDS
megusta
slayin' all day err day ya
except when we're getting frozen yogurt u kno

the proud family
that was my show okay do nOT talk to me about them rn
too emotional
lana is fucking me up man damn
omg wheelchair races!!!
yAS
bingo
canasta
cute doctors with good butts
c'mon what's not to love

OH GOD BAE
ahs is a show that u gotta watch slow omg u r wiLDE

omG do we
we technically are
hmmmm

#BRALEXORDIE
duh of course i do
u also complete me

OH MY GOSH HOW COULD U
so emotional rn

tru tru
gotta ride or die with my girls

QUEEN BAEBEE DOES WHAT SHE WANTS
*z formation snap*
frick tho
liam is starting to give me chest paynes
no paid consultations tho
my weasties get in 4 free

<Pitbull>
[extraterrestrial life forms panic]

#CASBRALEX
omg what even
1. ookillem
2. brass knuckles may be necessary idk
3. wen u say ded ded do u mean ded or DED
4. henri with the evil thin mustache and gelled hair
5. we r so cray ugh

KAI BBY U R IN SO MUCH TROUBLE RN

i couldn't watch 1d day bc school and the brit awards i only saw clips of but jfc harry like he didn't even know what they had won jesus he's so clueless luv him and liam got so drunk #drunkliamisthebestliam
#LELUISLIFE #LELUISLOVE

#SLAYINTHESEHOES
girl u kno i can't tell u ok these r top secrets
(just know it's about to go down)

weasties r better than everyone
it's a scientific fact u kno
omg tru sorry
u kno i'm old so i forget stuff idk
u get a cool jacket too
how r we gonna beat up ppl if ur jacket is whack tho like of course u get a nice jacket too helllooooo
omg a show and a game???
yES
have kids dressing up as us for parties and stuff omg yaaaaas

#PENNYPROUD
omg u r bad
i thought i was the only one who liked the proud family??? we r friends 4vr now
of course it is
now it's official >:)
and of course we couldn't do anything
we were knitting sweaters and pinching cute doctor's butts like c'mon
WE ARE SO RECKLESS
luv it

omg omg omg
so excited
ur medicine is the luv u have for celebs in ur heart u kno

ok #1 ty for the comment on arabella
mucho appreciated
U KNO ARABELLA IS WILD OKAY
PERRIE IS HER SISTER FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE
u kno she don't play by weasties' rules

moving on

#BRALEXISLUV
omg lord
HOW DO YOU RECOGNIZE
THE DIRTY FACE OF GOOOOOLD
BEHIND THAT CROOKED LINEEE
no worries amiga i got u

feeling some protective older sisters vibes
me gusta

HEARTLAND WILL NEVER B OVR 4 ME
when i'm 96 and on my death bed
imma be like
did alex update yet c'mon i can't go until i find out how it ends~~~

QUEEN BAEBEE REPORTING FOR DUTY
but who's my king?
i guess i'll settle for liam payne bc he like
wow did u see him at the wedding??? #havemercy
aNYWAY
find the cute muchacho @ panera no worries
u r welcome
this one's on the house

<Pitbull cackles>
[people fall from roofs][glasses shatter][harry styles starts crying]

#CASLEX OR #BRALEX
u decide omg woAh how can i keep track of the ships
omg the deadpool
DID THE WEASTIES MEMBERS GET THE MEMO THO LIKE C'MON NOW
1. u kno addie practically ded
2. u kno cas gonna eventually tear pat up lol
3. grace broke all of the rules in girl code so she's ded 2 us now
4. henri now I'M DED JESUS
5. maybe mimi omG u wild

KAI GIRL WATCH YO'SELF
WEASTIES ROAMIN' 2NITE

no we both win awards ok
at least we'll be there when we get them
not like harry
no i didn't spend my day watching the brit awards and recaps of 1d day of course not
frick u man #lelu is awesome

CAS IS THE SQUEEZE
he can squeeze all dis if u catch my drift aaaayyyy
PATTY U BEST STEP BACK
weasties r arming up with bagels
EXTRA STALE
JUST FOR YOU AMIGO
omg just wait lol if u don't stop im just going to tell u what happens
spoiler someone gets slapped rly rly hard woaH

WHO RUN THE WORLD
girls WEASTIES
do we get leather jackets like in the one for the road video bc let's be honest
alex's jacket is cool as heCK
but YES WE DESERVE A SHOW OKAY
if kim gets to have a game AND an app that is embarrassingly addictive then we deserve our own show
i can see it now

WEASTIES INC

luv it

#PROUDMOMMATEARS
u aint seen anything yet amigao
~cackle
actually i love that hashtag so much it might be the official tag for this ship rly rly
SHADY SIDE CHICK SURVIVED BY FAITHFUL HUSBAND PERCY AND THEIR DOG CHICO
*insert pink fingernail emoji*
meanwhile weasties sit there all innocent like
what omg wut u mean grace is ded oh no such sad many tears woaH how did this happen omg
palm trees omg
WE ARE OUT OF CONTROL OH MAN
of course it's marina
how r u gonna have a story about a bad chick shooting her man WITHOUT marina involved somehow heLLOOOOO

oMG NO BRUH STOP PLAYIN'
u would rly do me like that omg ilyyyy
ur the best
well obvs we don't keep up with the slang
we're too busy being bad as heck and playing bingo c'mon now
u gotta keep the youth alive in ur heart

omg omg omg
im on an updating roll today so proud of myself
but i forgive u no worries lol it happens!!!

lol u r happiness so i GUESS i can support bralex
omg well i'm happy i could help?
BUT NO U DIDN'T NO U DID NOT
OMG ALEX HOW COULD U
#craddlerobberswag
omg henry watch out
weasties comin 4 u

KAI JUST WANTS TO KISS HENRY FOREVA LET HER BEEEEEEE

and heartland is in my heart and soul and omg u do u ok

BAEBEE omg new name
queen baebee
it sounds cute
me gusta
ok bae i got u
u need one v cute muchacho and panera
that is what the doctor recommends ok

<Pitbull laughs>
[explosions heard in the distance][leonardo loses another oscar]

#parfaits
cas is perf and basically we need to wish him all the happiness in the world
weasties must unite to get rid of pat ok
bring it up at the next meeting

U DO WIN ALL DA AWARDS THO BAE I PROMISE
but u did ur best ok that's what counts and now we have lelu so i mean
it balances itself out lol

U KNO CAS IS THE MAIN SQUEEZE THO
pat's game is weak
pat ain't takin this girl out to the beach and romancin her
i don't see him making her pancakes
but tru tru he does have 'connections' or does he
DUN DUN DUNNNNN
alex u know that my sneaky is the best kind of sneaky and ur just gonna have to wait and see ya feel

omg that is actually the most accurate description of the weasties i've ever heard in my life
we sound like a rly badass girl gang from the 50s omg omg luv IT

addie u r in so much trouble omg how r u even alive
REMEMBER
SHE BRINGING THE FURY OF ANGRY, BURNING SUNS
plus angry momma bear feels like c'mon now addie RUN FOR YO LIFE SON
#LELU4LIFE-LU
actually /ded
omg GRACE U R SO DEAD OMG
weasties comin for everybody out here with a vengeance
girl how could u think the shade ended
u kno i'm a shade queen
gotta keep it goin' lol no worries
he will get his just desserts in due time >:)

SI MI AMOR ON MONDAY
i feel weird as heck omg but ur friendship is enough lol
you can do whatever you'd like
#yolo as the kids say

yaaaaa omg those comments on bbyqrl
yo i guess i forgive u for not subbing this time lol jk no worries babe

first off
i ship brad with happiness but omg kai needs to get her life together
YOU CAN'T HAVE THEM BOTH
but idk can't tell her what to do with her life yanno
and those little balloon things are from an online generator
i just plug in quotes at random but the kissing neck is a 1975 lyric lol i'm not that creative
omg r we fighting
r we fighting kai with stale bagels
i'll alert the local bagel shop
yo u kno henry is messed up
tbh wouldn't be surprised if much talking doesn't go on bc u kno
hormones lawl
poor kai & her feels heh

alSO the blog thing well YA DUH BAE gotta give creds where creds r due & i'm sorry but heartland will never b over for me ok luv it 2 much
but um
no UR MY SUNSHINE OK

yo u kno we're the cheesiest ppl on this whole site ok amiga
donut
frick man i missed ur puns
U GOT THAT SUMMERTIME SADNESS B?
sorry bub ): netflix and the beach cures that tho no worries
(trust me i'm a scientist)

u betta move
u betta dance
wooooahahhooooo

cas man like ugh he's too much
HE IS TOO MUCH ILHSM omg ugh
somtimes i ask myself why i make my characters so desirable and tbh i have no clue but damn pat
u rly win all da awards
but yay 4 mimi ok she's being nice
(no worries SHE GETS SNEAKY OK)
AND PATTY MAN OH MAN
u in trouble now
ur on the weastie's list

rIGHT AFTER ADONIS OH SNAP
u r in so much trouble mr
tallunard tho
#LELU4LYF
but girl omg u do u think the shade ends here? WE GOT A WHILE AND IT'S GON GET RL
rly rly rl
(grace may be coming back and it's gonna get sassy woooo spoilers)
#luludefensesquad
#savethelulu
#cry4lelu

but ya ugh this is getting real man wow i'm going to be nineteen on monday and i still feel six like what even

ayo bae
bABY
omg sorry i'm like dead omg summer assignments are killing mE
but hi hello mi amor how are you??? how is life? the loves? talk to me bby

alSO those comments bae
lord haveth mercy

mimi just wants to have fun yanno but yeah she's pretty wild idk
i wanna kiss cas tho like my baby
PAT JUST WANTS TO HELP BUT YEAH HE IS SKETCH
whoops

what the frick ily
tallunard
luv u
it is about to go dOWN OH SNAP WOW
u rly have some intense emotions concerning lil lulu dang wow
#swatteamcaptain
ya basically i ship leo & lulu with my whole soul

Hahaha your comment kills me. I love you.
And you thought THAT was drama?
WAIT UNTIL YOU READ PART TWO WITH ANOTHER CHARACTER.
Just wait until you read the rest of the story like holy balls.
btw, she has five brothers.
Thank you for your comment, doh, ya lovely lady! <3

Hahahaha omg I love Kira. I hope Liam develops a crush on her and Alpha Scott gets all jelly.
Oh lord, PAPA ARGENT YOU SEXY ASS MAN. "I got your text."
From Paris? He got Scott's text from Paris.
Damn, Scott's cellphone bill must have costed a fortune.
I bet Mama McCall will be like "Scott, what the shit is this?"
HOLY CRAP PETER KEEP YOUR SHIT TOGETHER. He went apeshit on the Benefactor.
But damn Peter's body was HAWT HAWT HAWT in Derek's loft.
Prince Deputy Parrish, please father my children.
AND THOSE CRAZY ASS FRESHMEN, WUT.
Um, excuse the fuck out of you, Jeff Davis, but NO.
Hate freshmen.

Hahaha your comment kills me. I love you.
And you thought THAT was drama?
WAIT UNTIL YOU READ PART TWO WITH ANOTHER CHARACTER.
Just wait until you read the rest of the story like holy balls.
btw, she has five brothers.
Thank you for your comment, doh, ya lovely lady! <3

Hahahaha omg I love Kira. I hope Liam develops a crush on her and Alpha Scott gets all jelly.
Oh lord, PAPA ARGENT YOU SEXY ASS MAN. "I got your text."
From Paris? He got Scott's text from Paris.
Damn, Scott's cellphone bill must have costed a fortune.
I bet Mama McCall will be like "Scott, what the shit is this?"
HOLY CRAP PETER KEEP YOUR SHIT TOGETHER. He went apeshit on the Benefactor.
But damn Peter's body was HAWT HAWT HAWT in Derek's loft.
Prince Deputy Parrish, please father my children.
AND THOSE CRAZY ASS FRESHMEN, WUT.
Um, excuse the fuck out of you, Jeff Davis, but NO.
Hate freshmen.

Okay, so I have no idea what the hell we were talking about earlier, sooo...
TEEN WOLF TONIGHT.
Did you see last week's episode?

And my story... I have edited that thing literally 7 times and I ain't even done.
And that's just the first part of the prologue. I have a part one and a part two.
I'm telling myself to just fuck it and just work on the second part.
I have a new rule: I can't post one chapter until the next chapter is written.
UUUUGHGHGHGHGHG.

Thank you for reading!
And I really am!
As dumb as it might sound, it's a piece I hold very dear to me.