whiteasfuck / Comments

Awww :) Thanks, you are too!

Sorry for the sporadic messaging. I've been getting on in between classes XD
Anyway, last thing we were talking about was a mini-lecture of things you could try to improve on. And I felt like a bitch lol.

Awe thanks(: I'm good how are you?

Thanks :D

I'm alright

I read your murder story and another one of your stories. My only recommendation is decide how long you want to draw it out, don't flip flop. It seems like you want to rush to a certain point, then realize you should slow it down, so it has a strange pulse to it.
I don't say that your writing is wrong in any way. It just needs to be more definite, more refined. If you're going to take your sweet time reveling in the blood dripping down the victim's lifeless body, go with it. Don't hint and then skip. Probably the best thing my english teacher ever told me was "show instead of tell."
Compare and contrast
A. Rob arrived half an hour late to the meeting. He apologetically explained about his run in with a flat tire.
B. Rob motored through the downtown traffic to get to a business meeting he had within the hour. Suddenly, a gunshot like crack sounded and his car lurched to the side of the road, rolled with awkward paces, and soon came to a complete halt. When Rob's heart began beating again, he unbuckled his seatbelt and exited the car to survey the damage. The front left of the car sunk close to the ground, revealing his destroyed tire... etc.
You could go on with the story and then end up at the meeting. Version B just has so much more to it for the reader.

Sorry if it seems like I'm being overly critical. I'm only passing along what a wise woman once taught me.

Thanks for the poem comment! :)

Hi thanks for your comments check out my poem Trapped if you have time.

No problem :) I subscribed too!

I don't know how you go about writing, but when I'm stuck, I try to figure out what exactly I want to do with the story. What direction. Then I allow myself to fill in the blanks as to how I get there. For example. Girl: she finds herself in a pit. How did she get there? Free-flow writing whatever I like.
It doesn't always help, but thinking m ore about the story itself instead of "I can't writing it T.T" might help.

Also, I will enjoy reading your new story. I like Dexter and the like, so.... yeah... lol

That would be really awesome of you.
I think that would be a fair assumption. We're so cool, we shit ice cubes.

I take back the "ruined" comment. I see the other story now. Neeeeever mind... *sheepish grin*
Also, I wanna comment that half the stories I chose to read my various authors on Mibba, you've commented on them already. Meaning we have similar tastes. I found it interesting. Every now and then, could you recommend stories you like? If the trend follows, I think I'll like it too :D

Thanx for the comment on Caleb and Rylan

Awh, you went and ruined it for me. I just read chapter 2 of your story :P

Also, I'm glad you have realized yourself and feel comfortable enough to announce to the world. You're brave. I myself am of the straight orientation, but I am far from homophobic. Most of my close friends are either flaming or stuck on the fence. I've been around the corner with secrets and outings. Congrats.

I don't blame you for the original fiction thing, but some of it's getting out of hand (boyfriend/vampire/slave/insertsomethingthatwillevolveintosexualreferencesandjokes) XD
Anyway, I appreciate this a lot. if you don't mind, I'd like to add you as a friend.

Thank you so much for you comment and subscription! That meant a lot to have a reader (and commentor) that quickly. I hope you like the rest of the installments as they come along :D

I'm tired, trolol.
Oh and I promise I'll read your story!

...when I'm more awake c:

Asdfg, woop! I've never gotten an autograph
from a fave singer/band of mine O.O

L.U.C.K.Y C:

Haha okay, well that's superb. C:

Will you be able to meet him? o.o

ahaha(: thanks. It means a lot. I don't get many comments in my stories so yeah(: