I would rather not have to resort to writing a 'journal' to try to help me feel better with one of my 'confusions,' but it seems that is what it has come to. I cannot, for the life of me, figure this out, which just makes it all worse!Well, I may as well get on with it…It all started out as a joke, right? I thought so, but now I am not so sure. I know my feelings were starting to bloom before...

I feel like for the first time in a while I can actually admit--to myself and others--that I have a problem, but at the same time I don't want it to be known as a problem. I hate knowing there is something wrong with me, whether it's something serious or not, I just hate it. I like pretending I'm normal, but of course, there is no real "normal." At least, not in the sense that society has us...