rememberthename_ / Comments

hey how is the band going?

Woooah

forget all of those messages. :)
because I don't care anymore. I just.. can't be bothered to care. I attempted to cal you and all I get is a "what do you want. get teh fuck out of my life you bitch." then you hang up. and you let your gf, whom you've been with for two days, to curse me like that.
WE WERE TOGETHER FOR MONTHS.
okay.
but.. i dont know. i have john and fuad. and im just going to have them forever. i can trust them more than you. they're nicer than you. they're better than you. have fun with chloe. and her annoying voice which made her curse words sound like bunnies and made me want to laugh. okay?

anyway. so i hope you have a good life. :D
with your dad.
and your mom.
your crappy friends.
your whore of a gf.
yeeeeeeeep.
bye.

LEWIS PLEASE.
I'm DYING to talk to you.
Please. Please.
I'm begging you.
I'm begging from the bottom of my heart, with everything I have, just talk to me. I dont care if its to tell me how worthless I am, or how you dont care about me. just PLEASE talk to me.
i need you. PLEASE. just tell me I shouldn't kill myself; just tell me i'm beautiful. just tell me I need to get over you. please. just tell me something. i dont care if you dont even reply to me. just add me back. please. please. please.

i miss you pooka.
please.
please come back.
i'm sorry for everything i've done. for EVERYTHING. if I could change it all I would. right now.
I tried to say I was sorry lewis. but you care about chloe to much. idk why you do.
WHY WOULD YOU TELL ME YOU LVOED ME AND PROMISE ME WE'D HAVE A FUTURE?! WHAT ABOUT ANNABELLE, AND OUR DOGS AND OUR BIG HOUSE AND OUR SON?!
what about them. lewis. please.
you promised.
and then you find another girl and.. and everythings gone.

please dont let her take away your virginity. please.
can I still have that until you come to barbados?
your coming right? you promised yu would. you promised. you have too.
i dont care if i told you your not welcome here. you know i lied. i wnat you to come here SO BAD. even if you still have chloe, even if you decide to loose your virginity. please lewis.
you promised. you promised.
you promised we could have everything. you promised we'd stay together forever.
PLEASE DONT LET IT GO.
WHY DO YOU WANT TO LET IT ALL GO?!
i just want you back. PLEASE.
we dont even have to talk , we dont even have to be together, but PLEASE.
dont block me on facebook or MSN.
please! PLEASE IM BEGGING YOU.
you said you forgave me, so why would you delete me off everything?
just please lewis. im begging you. im begging you so hard. please.

i tried to ask rhys to tell you something for me. just anything. i need you so badly.
but he just went offline. all i got was an "aw" and a "no he isnt online" and then.. he left.
I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO LEWIS.
PLEASE.
PLEASE.
PLEASE YOU HAVE TO COME BACK. YOU JUST HAVE TO. I CANT LIVE WITHOUT YOU. I NEED YOU. I NEED YOU SO MUCH. SO SO MUCH. ITS LIKE LIFE IS TRYING TO DESTROY. I JUST WANT TO DIE. I WANT TO DIE SO MUCH. PLEASE.
please I love you.

its like so dark and its almost 7. its freaky. it's like the weather wants to match how i feel right now.
so, so upset. and so, so hurt. i wonder if i cut myself this time if someone would notice nad care. hmm.. probably not. but you know, i can still hope.

i wonder when im going to get over you. i wonder so many things. but the one thing i wonder is when the fuck are you going to realize what you just let go?
but you probably wont ever realize because you probably just laugh about it. all last night on webcam you were laughing and laughing and laughing while i sat there in tears, crying my eyeballs out. you just kept laughing.
was it because nathan was there? and he hatesme? i guess ill never know that. i guess ill never know what goes on in your head. i guess ill never know why guys are so stupid.
because we REALLY had something going on, okay? I was the best thing you could ever get compared to all those whores you say are over there.
okay? so if you really believe that chloe loves you. LMFAO. good for you. good for you.
i'm kind of upset i cant tell you about my concert. and im upset that when i told you about this thing that happened yesterday you said "um.. i dont care. but okay"
and about how the day before you broke up you PROMISED, you SWORE ON MY LIFE, that we'd stay together. and that you wouldn't let it go.
and what a lie that was. i guess you wanted to die. LMFAO.
i guess you do. wow. i just realized that. i think im going to have to think over my plan about killing myself.
how do you think i should do it? hang, cut, or jump off a building?
i was thinking of cutting, since i dont have a rope and nor do i have a building. besides a building you have to think about too much. theres the part where you look over the edge atyour death.
cutting you just picture it. yeah, ill go witht hat.

i feeel like this all could be a dream.
the only thing thats telling me is not is the huge pain in my chest,
and the fact that we're not talking. the fact that at the moment i feel so ugly and unloved.
the fact that I know i'm going to start cutting myself again. you were the only reason I stopped.
the fact that I know i'm going to start going bluemic again. you were the only reason I stopped for that too. and now why should I stop? no one likes me.
i've been crying and crying for three days and NO ONE has noticed. the only people who notcied were you, my dog and sara.
and you know who cared more? my dog. she sat down on the floor right next to me, and when i started to freak out too much shed lick me on the mouth. so for that ONE second all i could think about was "ew" and then it'd be you again. but just for that ONE second, it calmed me down.
i love my dog you know. shes the bestestfriend i could ever ask for. because i realized that you , being the only person i really cared about, really didnt give a fuck. and maybe it's some one like myekelti who i should be looking at . because even though he boasts like fuck, i can trust him with ANYTHING. he hugs me when im upset, whether or not I curse him and tell him how ugly I am . hes always going to be there.
but you ? you just find some gilr called chloe, make out with her. ohh bye jessie. and there i go. out the window and you dont give a fuck. i cant wait till you play the same game with her. haha .
i cant wait to laugh.

it's about quarter to seven? probably almost 11 your time.
i'm thinking about callling you - but i'm too scared. i probably wont get an aswer; i'll probably get hurt even more if you DO answer. i'm not sure which im scared more for.. you not answering, or you answering and chloe's there, or nathan's there. and they start to curse me.
WHY DID YOU DO IT LEWIS.
YOU SAID WE WERE WERE EVERYTHING.
YOU SIAD I WAS THE ONE FOR YOU, YOU NEVER FELT THAT WAY. I WAS THE ONE . YOU WERE SURE OF IT.
and it's liek all of it was just shit to you. complete shit , and you dont give a fuck anymore.
thats why i threatened you. you kept telling me you didnt give a fuck about ANYTHING in my life. and you kept putting up your middle finger. it hurt so much, and you know I couldn't breathe. my heart was just POUNDING. i was panicking so badly.
and then so I threatenedyou . i wastn going to do it. you know i wouldn't.
and then you had to go and try to destroy my friendship with emily?
LOLOL, maybe thats why i find it funny. because of how you spoke about your friends behind their back, and how they're the ones you go to.. you know. its so fucking funny.

lewis.
i just realized i can't find you on facebook anymore. you got rid of all your connections with me.
i think i'm glad mibba exists. cause one day your going to look on here and see this.
i hope. i really hope its soon. this hurts to much. it's almost 6am now; i dont even know if im tired.
i decided i'm not going to kill myself. its too scary. bcause what if you decide to take me back? i want to be here for this moment.
i know you dont want me. i know you wanted me to get out of your life. but i cant do that. i'm sorry. so i'm going to keep doing this until.. well, i dont need to anymore.
cause atleast i still feel like im talking to you. kind of.

i can't sleep lewis.
it's 5am and it's like there's a huge hole in my chest, and all i can do is stare at the roof. sara is over, i hope i didn't wake her up coming on here.
i'm so so cold, shivering like hell. but is it weird i dont care?
i just miss you so much. i can't even sleep. i'm scared that im going to stop eating too . i hope i dont. i hope i dont be like bella with all those scary nightmares.
i think that's what woke me up. i can't remember what it was about, but you were leaving me, and i was crying. and then i woke up. i was so bothered about it and my brain wouldn't let me fall back asleep at all.
i miss you lewis. i miss you so much.
it hurts. i cant believe you were able to just move on from me like that.
it was like -like to me about going out with your family, go out with a girl, make out with her, i call you , you laugh and tell me never to call you again. yo hate me. you dump me.
it hurts like fuck. and then i get blamed.
and i know it was my fault okay? ill take th eblame
just PLEASE take me back. i'll do anything. i can't live with this change.

i miss you. even though your online. i miss you so much.
i miss the way we used to laugh about the stupidest thing, even if we were just looking at each other. i miss your blue/grey eyes and I miss your support. i miss the way you'd protect me from anything; and the way you told me how beautiful I was .
i dont see why you dumped me. i dont understand this. any of it. it's like i'm in a big hole and i cant get out of it, i'm so stuck and confused and heartbroken.
i've decided i'm going to kill myself tomorrow, or atleast cut myself so much that someone realizes and wants to help. no one is helping.
chloe, your new girlfriend, says I SHOULD kill myself.
so i'm going to do it. becasuse she means so much to you
and you mean so much to me.
so i'm going to do it.
lewis, i love you. i wish we didn't break up. i wish it'd be perfect again. just us. please.
PLEASE IM DYING HERE. IM CRYING SO MUCH AND IM JUST BREAKING APART, IM FALLING APART.
god I dont know what to do, or where to go anymore.

I knowww!
I'm like super depressed!
D:

Ahaha, man dude they are coming here! D:
& i'm gonna miss them cause my madree.
won't let me goo :'(

Okay!
& My Legends Are A7X!
Lol, dude I love coming to comment you cause' I always get to see your awesome background :D

Lol, dude I've never heard of these people.
Butt, you make them sound all heroic-like. :D

Ahaha, we would win all of our games!
& lol, noo.
Hmm, it seems someone has a little crush on a certain Robbie Fowler. :D
lol

Well I've been getting better :D
Ahaha, you should so totally be our goalie!
Except you'd probably have to wear a wig(: lol.
& Ehh, kinda not really. I support the team for Mexico
Youu?

Danng!
Man, I could never be goalie. When the ball comes at my face I flinch.
So I'm always either mid-field, or defense. Sometimes they put me on the wings. Buutt, this might be my last year of soccer, I have come to the final conclusion that I suck. Lol.

Yeahh :D
I play mid-field. Soo much running. lol
Do you play?
Gahh, I finally am going to have my own room:3