Thanks again hun!
I actually wrote it before I was officially put in the contest. xp
If the contest gives a prompt before hand I usually like to write the entry before hand to see how it comes out.
Again thanks though.
I actually like how it came out.
That was actually the point.
To not out right say 'oh this creeper is a vampire'.
Ya know?
I wanted to keep the reader sort of in the dark and guessing what he was.
I'm not a big fan of the layout I created, but it'll do for now.
I could see myself going far with that plot line, but after the contest is over.
Which I doubt I'll even place.
As many contests as I've entered I have never won first place.
I usually just get 3rd. lol.
I doubt anyone has noticed.
Or, if they have they didn't say anything.
Probably in fear of hurting your feelings or something.
That's why most people are afraid to be honest.
They're scared to offend someone.
If I offend someone that's fine, ya know?
I'd rather be trustworthy than dishonest.
Anyways, taking out the food would be better.
Make it a lot easier. xp
If you wanna make it seem more realistic.
Either change where they live or get rid of the food part.
You know when his mom makes food for them.
That food would be bad by the time they got to New York.
A cooler would do no good since the ice would constantly melt.
So, maybe it would be easier to just have them live in somewhere like New Jersey.
That's a hell of a lot closer and more plausibile since they are driving to New York.
I know you're not getting into technicalities with your Finn story.
However, I must point out at that it would take... 2 days non stop to get from California to New York City, New York.
And that all depends on where you live.
Just thought I'd point that out since I just found out that they live in California. xp