Haha, I might have to! Like, I said you're a fantastic writer! Your metaphors and descriptition is just really colorful!! :D I wish I could use them like that...I bring in a metaphore once in every blue moon...xP lol
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eTbaKjqrz8s&feature=related now that I think about it your story reminds me of this song. It's a hard rock/ metal song I'm not sure what kind of music you like. I think it's a really good song.
You have no idea how happy your comment makes me! I'm glad you think it's original; I've always been self conscious about that - "DOES SOMEONE ELSE HAVE MY PLOTLINE DO I LOOK LIKE I'M COPYING?" And I'm so glad you think I have pizazz. I'm happy. You're an awesome reader<3