I'm reading two novels for my English AS Level class. The first is 'The Time Traveller's Wife' by A. Niffenegger. The second is an English classic, 'The Time Machine', by H.G. Wells.(The films are no comparison to the books - obviously)But I'm not telling you this as some form of advertisement for the books themselves, the relevance is I have a repetitive dream.In the dream there is a man and he...

I can't seem to let go. But what I once considered to be beauty is now the masochism all the others recognised it to be. I don't want to let go. How can I? It is so familiar to me and so entwined into everyday life that it is to me as water is to another.It was my twisted practise of skill, not out of longing but now I still recall the need - the exhilarated desperation. A flurry of so described...

''Av u gt plans 1 of em gals had a frek dwn ur way lads fink u mite b beta calmin er the *uk out.''It's almost a poem. In my head it is. I don't write this way.It expresses the same drama whether they fill a text with oxymoron's and pathetic fallacy, or if it is just there, in modern day cryptic's on an exhausted computer screen.I know what it means.The imagery along side the lack of letters. A...

My life supports, my seams, they begin to weather. 'What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.' The biggest truth in the biggest lie... do I feel strong? No. I feel the weight of everything I buried and bounced before. My knees feel so unsteady, my throat swallowing the words I'm afraid to say.My phones on silent but I still feel it buzz. I feel so guilty when I lay it back down. I don't feel much...

Temptation arises again as my skin boils and burns beneath the surface. It aches and somewhat tingles. An itch I can’t reach to scratch, like a nettle sting.The hungers as present as always but for some reason today it is welcomed. It spreads the cold through my stomach and up into my chest.Goosebumps on my skin; my mind doesn't scream for the warmth. It doesn't scream for anything but to...

I've been talking to this new girl I met. She's got some problems but unlike the majority of folk she really doesn't talk much, just listens.I've been asking some questions today and turns out she can talk but chooses not to.Every question I asked I thought was just typical questions I should ask, but half way through I found myself crying.I hadn't said anything much and she hadn't said anything I...

You can't understand the vile thoughts that I mask with but playful words. Always 'hidden messages', ones in every sentence I cautiously spit. I can't let you see, my defensive is my only method of which to sin. I ask every one of you, which is your deadly sin? Very few ask in return. It's human nature, because there is nothing wrong in caring most for yourself, after all... it is YOUR life at the...

Assume. It's the word of the year so far.It has many a meaning but in this case I'm referring to it's most common,''to take for granted or without proof; suppose; postulate;''It came from a latin word (surprise surprise) in Middle English around the 1400's.Facts. Ironic whilst discussing such a words.I know what many assume when on a sunny day I roll up my sleeves,or when I play the heavy songs of...

I detest the times I feel like I'm alone, when there is nobody I feel I can or want to talk to. Forcing foods and drink down my bruised throat knowing they'll knock me sick. ''It's a special occasion, have some pop and sugar-filled carbs'' They laugh. To me it isn't a joke. The continuous pounding of calorie counting and fat content that plagued my earlier teen years never leaves. This week...

I was the spider, now I'm just a fly, caught in my own construction, the web of destruction.The blood on my hand, thought it was yours, now I realise, with the knife at my side.I'm praised for the bruises, a sign I won the fight, Is it really winning? He says I'm sinning.The glass it smashes. Aren't you so hard. Following your acts of violence I am left in but silence.My skin boils. Rage at my own...

The most effective codes are the simplest. We always look for things but miss the obvious.I like metaphors and riddles; I lose myself in them.But I also lose others in them.I could make it so clear, all the things I hide out in the open. Would you still feel the same?I wonder sometimes if everyone just likes a mystery.No matter how hard I try not everyone believes the mask.I want to be a...

I'm bewildered, almost un-nerved, I don't think you're in.It's the first time in months that I've heard my typing echo in an empty house.I've been awake so long, I woke up to the sun rising as for the first time I left my blind wide open.06:05I remember tossing and turning for hours trying to fall asleep.02:17I remember short, pointless dream after one another04:47I remember the mattress being...

The things you don't know could make a list to stretch a mile or two.I wash the blood from my mouth with cold tea someone left a little too long.I've seen you all cry now. Seen you all get angry.Somehow I still forget to cry.Its funny not one of you asks how she is.I feel my lip start to swell. I should probably get ice for that. Frozen peas. They'll do.I turn the music down so I can listen to my...

I no longer feel the want/need to share what is going on inside.If the author knows the ending; please write it.I'm tired of the act and I'm tired of the truth.I just want to get away but I'll still have to wake up each and every day.No where I can go.There's loads I'm missing out that has happened this week.But now it's just another week in the past.Any tomorrow a new week begins.What'll happen...

Is guilt what I feel? It's never something I ever really recognized well in myself.What was I doing seven and a half years ago?I was 10I moved here didn't I? Or was I still there?Primary school anyway. Little shirts and ties and my cropped hair with streaks.I can't believe it must have been longer than that.That day we drove up and my mother asked me to stay in the car.Entertaining my impatient...

I sit on the phone to youYou forget to ask how I am really.You tell me things I can barely listen to, I care so much.You know you hear my music, you just tell me of another song.I tell you something important, it took time to say.''Thanks for that Tals...I really didn't to know that.''I laugh along.Who is this? Why do you have her voice?I ask about our once-a-friend,you say you don't care.you...

The most human moment of my life wasn't human at all.That moment was the furtherest thing from life.Yet never had I felt the warm of life beforetill the last of his was licked from my lips.I never pulled a triggerI held his gazeVaqueness filled his eyes before death had chanceWarmth to be the last part of him to ever touch my cheek.The mess a bullet made.(One day I'll cry for you, one day I'll...

I feel the craving taking over, that a need to both run and fly.To feel my feet pelt the ground and that to be weightless.I am warm but cold. I belong to the world or is it to another?I long for the warmth of the sun yet fear its touch.I am neither the wolf nor the vamp whilst I am both.My hunt is futile. Do I chase or wait to be chased? Why do I spit at my pack, never happy alone or known.I...

According to my current therapist it's important I start, well, at the start.1. I was born in Stockport general, not great place. Council estates, drug addicts, people breaking into our house.2. I had two little brothers, one now 16 and the other 14. The older of the two spent every Christmas in hospital due to his asthma. The other was born with kidney failure.3. A few relatives died, my granddad...

I read a site, it's called 'Gives me hope'It makes me cry, makes me realise it's true that through the darkness is where we find the light.My depression grows stronger, this I accept. I try to hide it from those I know struggle as well.That would be all of you now wouldn't it?'Everybody hurts, everybody cries'. And my pain is no worse than yours.I stare at the pills. My name on the bottle. It...