yeh you are beautifullll. yeh i just had a slight cold. i went to the beach with friends last night and i feel better. well, you know, flu season. but there's something i want to trust you with...its a secret only a few people know. and i dont really go like, "hi, im rain. did you know..."and spill the secret. but there's something i want to say to you and its a secret but im starting to not care if others know bout it. im eistrophobic which basically means im afraid of mirrors.
umm, only a tad lot of people know this but i had a twin brother and well i'd say i killed him. i felt like i killed him. i still feel like it. i mean, well, i was basically a total fuckhead when i was in middle school and going on to high school. i liked girls and didnt really know my sexuality really. that was when my twin brother, who was physically weak all the time, was sure of his. in fact, he was gay. i was a male prostitute i did smoke a lot and drink a lot, i was even gonna go into some major shite and even when rumeur (my brother) was the shy and quiet type and everything, i still pressured him to like girls and have sex and do all that crap and i didnt know any ounce of it. he one day just went to the hospital when i was doing my "runs" as i called it (meaning i had a client) and he didnt come out. well, he did, but he was dead. i couldnt believe it but before he got in the hospital, he wrote me a letter. he told me that he was gay and that he hated to see me throwing my life away. he wanted me to be me and not this "freak" i should say. i couldn't and partly still cant look at the mirror or take pictures. ever since then. well, for the camera thing, i always hated getting my picture taken. rumeur liked it because he never knew when it was gonna be his last one. he only lived til bout 15 i think. when i turned 16, i fully got out of that whole mess i was brought in. but every mirror to me was like a reminder that pretty much grabbed me and said, "you fucked up my life, dont fuck up yours" every now and then, i hate looking in the mirror. so i ask people if they can do my makeup and whatnot instead. love, rain
ooh background change.....it's very pink.
uhm. well we had a snow day today. so i was skiing pretty much all day. and now i'm very very very exhausted. but it was a lot of fun.
and then i have to go to a lesson-ish-thing on saturday to learn to teach people to ski. so i'm excited for that.
what's new with you?
first off WHY THE FUCK IS YOUR PAGE PINK and second rain put a comment that he would apreshiat it if i would.....(somthing) him from my in box and hali have no fucking clue what that is help
:o Did your mum end up being ok?
I'm good, but very busy. I am back at uni and am working, and I am on this very laggy computer, since the one I usually go on isn't working... so it takes twice as long to comment anyone. But I'm dealing with it.
whats up katey-kins, i missssss yooouuu. blimey that was the longest three worded sentence ever. well, next to the ily sentence hahahh. how is my special girl (note: this comment is closed to shut downs. i.e., "special ed" is not allowed) woh i got all scientific and shite. hahah. awwsome. ahh i feel sick again. (runs to loo) replllly to sick mate. love, rainnypoo
I love My Chemical Romance so much o.o
You get a billion cool points for liking them :D