MirandaRose / Comments

Thank you very much for your comment!

Goldilocks: Hey! Checked it out and wanted to let you know I'm enthralled. Very neat premise for the story, and I will be checking in on it periodically. Definitely a good set up-makes me want to know what's going on. I hope that the subsequent chapters (perhaps the notebook reading) will take a more active voice. Use more vivid verbs, and it will draw the audience into the story instead of merely feeling like they are watching. However, the passive-verb introduction is a good setup for the action. Overall, excellent and I look forward to reading more.