June 30th, 2012 at 05:34pm
I just wanted to thank you for the comment on my story Le Monde A Bien Changé. It's always nice to have feedback.
I just wanted to explain to you a couple of things you found wrong with my story.
First of all, the pregnancy timeline thing, yeah, that did kind of suck. I guess it was very rushed. =\ It's my first time writing for a contest like this, so it's probably why it's so rushed.
Second, the reason the main character uses the word finally for a wait of a week is because she has not been waiting a week to marry him, she has been waiting quite a while. I figured it would show in how I wrote her being so close and in love with Louis.
Third point is that the British soldiers didn't want the Acadians to know that they were going to be separated from their families. They lied to the Acadians and told them that they would get help finding their husbands from British soldiers. I've been told the story of the deportation many, many times. I know a lot of the details ;p.
Also, the main character is French, and I wanted to make her seem a little uneducated on the topic of the British. That's why I use English and British and not just one or the other. :)
The sentence "Urging me to go faster, they broke many things in the house." was supposed to mean that the British soldiers were urging her pack faster. =\ I guess it is kind of unclear the way it's placed.
Fifth, there isn't that many soldiers with her. There were only two who knocked on her door.
Anyways, I'm not trying to argue, just wanted to clarify some stuff to you :)
Another point(and the last), if there were good aspects of the story, why didn't you let me know what they were? That way, I would know what I was doing right also.
Anyways, thank you for the feedback! VERY appreciated :) Sorry for the long ass comment ;p
There was only one point I want to recap. When the soldiers had gone to the main characters house, all the men in the village were in the Church, therefore, they would either be last to be put on the ships or burnt to death in the Church. I'm pretty sure I mentioned that the men were in the Church before the soldiers arrived at her house.
Anyways, I'm glad you took the time to comment. :) It's really helpful to know what the readers want and how it should be. ^_^