I really liked this! the concept is real good, but I'd make certain adjustments, for the metric, rhytmn and all
Sorry If I got a lit bit carried away its just there is so much potential in it
"What shall we do
When all there is left is darknes?
What shall we say
When all light turns to rain and gets sucked away?" here Id put soemthign to rhyme with darknes, like dunno "When all light turns to rain and we run out off candles"
"Can you tell me, oh dwellers of light, oh dwellers of the flames
What will you do when there is no more light?
What will you do when the black is like a hurricane,
Sucking everyone in and leaving behind nothing but darkness?"
What happens when the light becomes to blinding,
And the dark even more blinding?
Please tell me, oh lovers of light, haters of night,
What shall we do when we light ceases to fight"
I am one who plays in and out of darkness,
But what will happen when that is all which remains
I am one who stays in the shadow of night
And also one who hates the light. "
Sorry If I got a lit bit carried away its just there is so much potential in it
"What shall we do
When all there is left is darknes?
What shall we say
When all light turns to rain and gets sucked away?" here Id put soemthign to rhyme with darknes, like dunno "When all light turns to rain and we run out off candles"
"Can you tell me, oh dwellers of light, oh dwellers of the flames
What will you do when there is no more light?
What will you do when the black is like a hurricane,
Sucking everyone in and leaving behind nothing but darkness?"
What happens when the light becomes to blinding,
And the dark even more blinding?
Please tell me, oh lovers of light, haters of night,
What shall we do when we light ceases to fight"
I am one who plays in and out of darkness,
But what will happen when that is all which remains
I am one who stays in the shadow of night
And also one who hates the light. "