A Mask - Comments

Like Valium Freak said, the rhyming does seem a bit forced and it ultimately inhibits your message. If you go for a more free verse style, it might be easier for you to grow as a poet and begin to incorporate some imagery, metaphors, etc.

I love the overall concept though. The mask metaphor is really nice. Definitely keep writing.

Uh well I guess you can relate to the general idea, but I find the rhymes a little forced, and some seem to obious
you should try get around more metaphors, and use more variated vocabulary

this line is pretty good though "Because i like it and it won't" the rhyme is a bit acted over, but it shows a good variety on the narration