I liked it, but I'm not sure I could say that I loved it. (yeah, I know I'm pitiless) Again the end.... I think you can do better. The end isn't just where you tie it off and it's done. It has to leave the reader with a sense of finality but also make the reader intrigued and feel like it ends WELL. Unfortunately unconcerned is not the best ending word. Though I do know how hard it must have been to rhyme with "learned."
April 20th, 2008 at 03:01am
