i think your mom would not be happy knowing what you are now. .
friends could ease the pain even not all of it,and everything you do,do it with reason not the thing that runs into your mind that you are being left. . .
you can find friends who truly know how to make you smile amidst of you weariness coz they HOPE its not the end for those people who feel the existence of LoNELINESS ^_^
move on and make use of your youth to be more meaningful and productive