I love this, it has been written really well and you've created a great rythm throughout the poem, and it has very strong ideas behind it. Really well done :) My favourite lines are: "Like stars and moons are faces pale
Hearts on auction, fresh blood for sale.
Lives disappearing out of sight
This world must end here tonight."
Hearts on auction, fresh blood for sale.
Lives disappearing out of sight
This world must end here tonight."