June 18th, 2010 at 08:14am
This is awesome :). My only suggestions would be that "selfishness" is one word, not two, and also that when you say "I won't put up with you're crap" it feels out of context because it diverges from the more eloquent language you use in the rest of the poem, so I'd replace it with something else.
But it's good! I love the repetition and the clarity that you maintain throughout it.
Completely and wonderfully well-written <3