I really liked the line about your eyes and the way you created a picture of it ("two little disposable cups") I must also admit laughing the moment I read that you would suck cock, as juvenile as that may be, my mind exclaimed "SHE DIDN'T!" The emotion is fantastic and the precision with wich you choose your words is awe inspiring, however, there is one line (second paragrapgh) Only a false memory /Break/ Can have sucks me... It bothers me to no end luckily it was near the beginning for I found myself re-reading it and getting frustrated with thinking how I might change it. I realize its small but I've always been a stickler for detail.
Ever your editing tormentor
- Crayon Eater