December 30th, 2010 at 01:02am
OH WOW.
I can't believe this doesn't have any comments. I love the repetition of the first line of each stanza. It adds a lot to the poem, it really does. It paints a beautiful picture. And the words you used:
[i]and dreamers live there
in their vaulted halls
crisscrossed with airplane trails
...
and the only movies are the ever changing world below
and the static sky above
...
...paint the walls in the hues of the sun and the stars[/i]
I really love how you wrote this. The imagery was absolutely perfect. And the last stanza... it made me want to fly on clouds.
I don't know why but this makes me think of Somewhere Over The Rainbow. Which is one of my favorite songs of all-time, so take that as a huge compliment. =)
Just make sure you have the correct punctuation throughout the poem, but I'm not sure this needs it. I don't know.
Anyway well written! Good job and I appreciate how you describe the castles in the sky as a place as "birds can visit" instead of just being dreams people have. Later you refer to it as part of the imagination, but how people can "climb aboard" and get there. Intriguing! well done.