Autumn Abstraction - Comments

I really like this one. I love the fall, but where I live there aren't that many leaves.
Lots of pine trees though.
I should stop being surprised that you write amazing poetry :)

[i]The most fragile sheets of rust;[/i]
This, right here, is the line that snagged me in; and so quickly too! I am quite picky with poetry, I find a lot of times people try too hard and the flow of it gets sour and skewed but this... this is utterly divine! It reminds me of my backyard [which is a cemetery] in the autumn. So calming amidst the lifelessness of both the cemetery and the autumn world around me. I am in awe. Truly. Thank you for directing me here. :-)

Oh wows... That was just so beautiful in a... Sort of sad sort of way. I loved your descriptions. They were really vivid and I think you did a perfect job :)

Ok, so originally I copied the line, "The most fragile sheets of rust" because I like to pinpoint my favorite lines from time to time. While I still love it- as the idea of leaves being "sheets of rust" blows my mind- I had to stop, because I was copying like... everything.
This is my favorite so far. The wording. It baffles me. GREAT job.

Another great piece of work! There's something dark, and airy, and cool about the entire thing. A feel to it that's hard to describe. Your imagery is as delightful as ever, and you've very clearly displayed your talent in this poem, especially! Excellent job! :D

Holy imagery! XD

I really liked that. It read almost more like lyrics than just your every day poem. I could almost hear a melody going along with it. :D

I love how you describe how everything looks and feels and sounds. I am able to picture it in my head, and for me, that makes it so much more real.
Reading this left me feeling something... I'm not sure what exactly, but it was something.
You are truely an amazing writer, keep it up.
<3
~Krazy~

[i]Leaves under my feet
The most fragile sheets of rust;
Memories fallen to concrete
And turned to dust.[/i]

That must have been hard to do. You rhymed every second line with each other! I just fell in love right there xD

This was amazing, I'm so glad I read it, cause it's awesome.

Great job!

[i]The silence rings louder than gunshot.[/i]

That was the best line. This poem had great imagery and was quite beautiful.

[i]And a contrasting chaos amidst it all;
A mind that wonders
Whether it should ever wonder,
And thoughts that leave no choice.

Amidst all the internal chaos,
The silence rings louder than gunshot.[/i]

By far my favorite part of this poem. I just love how gorgeous those lines are.
This poem had such an amazing feel to it. I can't even describe it.
I'll just tell you that I loved it to death.
<3

[I]Something still nags at me.
It tugs at the back of my mind
And the bottom of my stomach
Like a child's dirty fingers pulling at the hem
Of mother's skirt.[/I]

This line, for some reason, just stuck in the back of my mind. The image is just so relatable.

But wow. Your words are captivating and I can just feel everything. If I close my eyes, you've painted such a picture with words, I'm there.

I don't find this a lot on Mibba. I find it hard to get into a good poem. But yours... They never disappoint, darling.

Write on! And whore your poems more. They deserve all the love in the world.

spectacular!

"The mud smears the same way,
But the act is far less endearing."

i love your style

this is sooo.....!!!.....its beautiful. I could create a really good image in my head. This is so amazing

- The Phoenix Queen <3<3<3

This was truly amazing.!
I love it.
I can picture the image all to well