Disenchanted - Comments

Typo: [i]to the love that dare noy touch me,[/i]

I'm not sure that I liked this one as much as I liked the other one, but it was still fantastic. I'm guessing that the use of ideas as real tangible things (and proper nouns) is something of a theme within your work? It works very well the way that you use it.

I adored it. I think it's absolutely breathtaking. It put me into the world of the narrator- the hardships and yet longing to be loved by another. I also like how Love is a mystery to them, but they know it well at the same time. This was good. BUT...one problem...you pulled me into this WHOLE other realm of harsh love and desire and need and passion...but it was like a bucket of cold water when you wrote "The End!" Get rid of it. It doesn't work and it completely ruins it.