Minds Confusion - Comments

This is incredible. You can really feel the emotion in this one. I'm a sucker for good flow of poems, and this would be no different. It has great imagery. I enjoyed it a lot and it's simply beautiful. Good job.

I think that the rhyming and repition is incredible, I almost (if I could sing) want to sing it in a low sad voice.
It is very good, I liked it a lot.

lovely poem[:
I'm suprised that this dosen't have more comments, because it absolutely rules.
I loved it, and didn't see any errors, so grat job:D
I totally loved reading this<3

this kind of hurts to read. it reads as very fractured and that makes sense with the title. it's like the narrator is going to say one thing and then decides to say another. we can see the vague threads of connection, but not the whole picture. and i rather like that. at first i read this with a rhythm, but then it turned into more of a rushed reading, like someone was talking too fast and it was really interesting.

the only real suggestion i have would be to either use a comma/semicolon or break this line in half:
[i]Secrets and lies what be the difference?[/i]

i love this and please dont delete it :) at the moment im writing a book and i look to mibba for inspiration, which there is mounds of. this is the first time ive asked but can i use the first 6 lines in my book, they may be slightly altered and if it gets published which i doubt, ide be more than happy to aknowledge you for this reason. the words got to me and fit perfectly with my storyline and i would love it if i could use them to get to my potential readers the way they did with me :) - Laura (a.k.a. watw)

my minds rants when I type with no aim in mind nor purpose I might delete it later I might not ...