She's Not Going Anywhere - Comments

Each individual stanzas are lovely as they are. But as a whole, some stanza lines do not flow the same as the others. For instance, the first two stanzas have completely different rhythms. I think the word 'again' in the fourth line is what throws it off. That is the problem with rhyming poems. Rhymes are brilliant when it works, but it is ghastly hard when a word one wants to use does not fit in with the rest of the poem.

I do not actually have suggestions on changing that because the words are fine, just the rhythm is off. If you wish to improve the rhythm, maybe change some words to fit but other than that, I suppose you can overlook it. Also, I found grammatical errors in this line - "she stays until you've had you're your fill".

That is pretty much it. I like the refrain of the first line in the first stanza and in the last stanza. The ending reference to the title makes it a nice ending stance. And I get the narrative you are conveying. The declination of the girl's life is done well though it is short. Good work.

Oh wow

Oh wow, this is pretty good. I can totally get the story & the emotion through this, & I've got to say that this happens so much it's just awful. I really like how you were able to make this rhyme, too. The only thing I can say that could use some tweaking is your capitalization, or, well, lack there-of.

Awesome Rosie :) xx

Amazing! :)