:O I love it. You've gotten across something like... a subtle intensity, I guess? I'm not sure how to describe it, but it's difficult to pull off and you've managed it beautifully. I love the part, "Patiently waiting for the sun to collapse". There's something eerie, something cool.
Excellent poem. :D
This is beautiful. I really enjoyed reading this. Sounding much like a story. You put a lot into it I can imagine. I enjoyed the scary parts you put into it. :)
Excellent poem. :D