The emotions here are contagious, and it was a great flow. Wonderful job. Very relate-able as well which is a bonus, I'll be reading some of your other poems as well because I like this one a lot!
okay, the emotions and meaning of this poem has been beautifully done, no work needed there, but< i noticed this on a few of your poems- the flow. youve got exlamation/question marks to express your feelings but the rest of it just runs so fast- coz theres no commas or full stops. it might seem like a minor thing but i think if you added them where you intended people to pause or stop, then the flow of the poem will run much more freely :) hope that helps.
This was awesome. I loved it. Really, everything I've read by you has been great. I guess some of it could be worded a bit better, but I still think this was awesome. I agree with [b]EverRose[/b], I could definitely see this as a song. (:
Your concept is great. The wording is a bit iffy for me though. I would try re-wording some of the parts (like the band-aid part) ti make it flow better. I could def hear this as a song. Good job.