This is good kinda short and spelt victory wrong in the last line. I guess the point of it is that it's short but whatever. I like the message and it is powerful. Just wish it was longer haha but that's just me, wish you could improve on the imagery a little if that makes sense. Even if you keep it short but add one or two words to every line to help me see it add to the emotions. Keep writing.
September 11th, 2011 at 04:33pm